Virgin in my 30s

Even turning this app on feels my chest with anxiety. Sharing thoughts, discussion, I seem to dread everything.
I’m a 32 year old virgin. Never been able to have intercourse. I have become more of a hand/oral partner to make up for it since my partner in my early 20s was unable to have intercourse due to previous trauma.
When my new partner says during foreplay “I want your dick inside me/ I want to have sex with you”, I don’t get excited. I feel with dread or straight up disinterest, like “well that ain’t happening sorry about that.” My sex drive has never been very strong, and perhaps my body/mind isn’t prioritising intercourse… Because I’ve never had it. But I don’t want this to be the case.
Oh and of course have the condom problem too.
Maybe the solutions are right in front of me, but my stubborn brain is refusing to see them. I just need reassurance that it can all change for me. Thank you