Virgin in my 30s

Even turning this app on feels my chest with anxiety. Sharing thoughts, discussion, I seem to dread everything.
I’m a 32 year old virgin. Never been able to have intercourse. I have become more of a hand/oral partner to make up for it since my partner in my early 20s was unable to have intercourse due to previous trauma.
When my new partner says during foreplay “I want your dick inside me/ I want to have sex with you”, I don’t get excited. I feel with dread or straight up disinterest, like “well that ain’t happening sorry about that.” My sex drive has never been very strong, and perhaps my body/mind isn’t prioritising intercourse… Because I’ve never had it. But I don’t want this to be the case.
Oh and of course have the condom problem too.
Maybe the solutions are right in front of me, but my stubborn brain is refusing to see them. I just need reassurance that it can all change for me. Thank you

I had problems ejaculating during intercourse when i first experienced it. For most of my life I’ve had what is called an “idiosyncratic masturbatory technique,” i.e. a way of masturbating that doesn’t stimulate the sensations of intercourse (stimulation was too focused and too rapid). Anyway, one thing that helped acclimate me to the sensations of intercourse and overcome my anxiety about being able to maintain my erection and ejaculate was using a Fleshlight toy. Two caveats: buy the original sleeve (getting one filled with bumps and ridges and constrictions that is super intense defeats the purpose of simulating intercourse) and thrust into it as if it’s a partner (you can stick it between your mattress and box spring). I know this doesn’t address everything you’re dealing with, but it might help a little? I how you find the help here that you’re looking for