Hi guys - I’ve had erection issues for a while and I think mojo has helped. One thing I’ve noticed is it’s usually easier to get it up with a girl I’m not into as much, since there’s less pressure.
Well this weekend I have plans with a girl that I like - a lot. She’s to come over and we’ve been talking about sex, exchanging pics, all that. She seems really into me and has even orgasmed from erotic scenarios I wrote for her.
I’m back and forth between nerves and confidence! I’ve been here before and know I can do it, but the inner critic still pops up.
I’ve been avoiding masturbating, haven’t looked at porn in like weeks. It would be around 8 days since my last wank if I go until the day she’s supposed to come over (I’m not sure if it’s best to go as long as possible with jerking off, or jerk off like 4 days before?). Trying to prep myself as much as I can.
Any tips or advice, similar experiences, words of encouragement would be appreciated!
Use calming breathwork when you feel nervous and a grounding exercise. If you hear your inner critic popping up, contour it with a positive voice. Have an internal debate with yourself. Remember, you don’t need to be perfect, just present in the moment for her
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Great words bro! You’re right. I DO want to be perfect for her, but I should just relax and be myself with her! Thanks!
Remember, she will be just as nervous as you are. Take it easy on yourself and just enjoy the time with her. Regardless if sex is involved or not. If it goes wrong, don’t stress, it happens
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You’re the champ bro I’m confident you can have fun and make it the best time!! Good luck!!
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Thank you man much appreciated!!
You got this dude, be in the moment and enjoy it. You’re there for her and her pleasure and she’s there for you, and yours.
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All of what others said.
A simple breath trick: breathe out longer than you breathe in. Simple and you don’t even have to think about it. It helps get you out of fight or flight mode.
I’d focus on foreplay. Get her warmed up pretty good. Maybe consider taking sex off the menu at first? No pressure?
Focus on getting her off, her pleasure. Kissing, caressing, fingering, oral. All of it.
When I go all in on her pleasure, it gets me going as she finishes!! Also, if my dick won’t cooperate, she still got off a few times…
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Well said, thank you! She has said that she likes when a man tells her what to do so that empowers me to have her do what I want also
Thank you! I’ve been doing the 2:1 breathing. I do that sometimes,
Just focus on the girl and getting her off. Not sure while I feel this pressure that i also have to get my dick up for her to be satisfied.
She did say that she prefers to orgasm while being held versus with my face in between her legs….but you’re right I should relax and enjoy what happens versus struggling towards a certain event
Just wanted to give you guys an update. I saw the girl this weekend. She is super hot and we have a great connection in most ways (I think). I continued to be back and forth between confidence and nerves right up until I saw her. Had been doing grounding exercises, breathwork, and countering the inner critic.
She came over, I was able to get it up, we had sex the whole night including oral, PIV, and fingering (she had told me a particular method of fingering is best way to get her off). My erection wasn’t 100% for all of it, was up and down, and it slipped out a few times. She did get frustrated at points which hit my ego and made it difficult to get back into it.
Im still processing it overall, it feels like a mix of success and failure. Im trying to focus on the wins and build from here, but those hits to my ego are still there. Im considering whether or not to discuss it with her, im not sure if it will add to or remove my anxiety. And its hard for me to read whether it will just turn her off even more.
Anyway - I tried my best and have to keep trying. Thanks to all of you bros for your support and words, it really does help.
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Nice work man!!!
Sounds like you had a great time!!!
Don’t beat yourself up. I’m sure she had fun too!
I really like that she told you what she likes! That’s sooo cool that she felt comfortable enough to share!!
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