Conquering your mind 🍆

[innovative-indigo-narwhal]

Who can relate?
I’ve had this in and off with my wife for a long time. She’s beautiful and the inner critic always paints me a picture of failure.

Also I stress about it so bad than sometimes I have trouble and delay mastuebating. Almost like I’m under the demand to fuck even while I’m mastuebating.

As the anxiety rolls all day. The nausea of feeling like this is the only problem I have in my life….
My mind tells me that I’m fucked up. She’s so upset. She deserves better sex.

She thinks it’s her and I’m not turned on.
Mentally I want it but I feel my heart beating nervous…

Also… there is no foreplay. Honestly I am basically expected to just see her naked and get hard. I don’t think that is always something that happens normally guys or am I wrong? I’m 41. If it takes stimulation to masturbate then it takes it in bed. But…. She’s so out of the game right now because she doesn’t make effort because she expects me to not physically respond.

Sometimes so much anxiety. Viagra fails.
Yet other times when my kind is in the zone, I can be great.

Shit, 2 months ago I initiated in bed and took charge. ( no pills) and things were good. I was happy and confident. Next day. Did it again.

But then I get in these funks to the point my anxiety can’t even be fixed with a pill. Wtf!!!

Anyone else have this much pressure or insight on this? I’ve consider a sex therapist but hard to get to.

Has anyone ever fixed this issue complete or have seen amazing results

[slippery-rose-elephant]

Have you been honest with her? If she has feelings of inadequacy perhaps she’s not completely across your struggle. I haven’t yet been through the mojo program but perhaps being honest will not only help you but also make her feel better about herself.

[mere-bronze-pike]

Similar issues on my relationship. We’ve had lots of trouble getting pregnant which has lead to hang ups on both sides. My wife wants quick sex, bit of a hand job if I’m lucky to get hard and off we go very little foreplay. That used to be enough but now as I get older I need a bit more stimulation (so does she bit she won’t let me). Now when we’re having sex I’m constantly thinking she hates this, she wants it over (my inner critic) and so I go soft. We’re trying to talk it through and mojo has helped me tell my side, hopefully I can get her to tell hers. I hope you can get to sort this out.

[permanent-yellow-blackbird]

I hear you man. I deal with the same thing but I haven’t had a “successful” session in forever. And my first go at sex after starting the app was also a fail. I will say that I am lucky though and my wife understands and works with me and honestly doesn’t judge. She says she’s satisfied, and I need to start believing her. I think once I start to allow that to be true in my head it will help ease/reduce all the anxiety I have around sex.

Be as open as you can. Maybe try the partnered sensate with her if she’s down? My wife is aware that I’m using mojo but I haven’t talked to her about any of the tools/exercises. I might approach her and see if she’s willing to try the sensate with me.

Keep at it. Stay positive. Shut down that inner critic as best you can.

[advanced-scarlet-quelea]

Completely agree. I can get hard with my own stimulation/masturbation but my wife just thinks I should be able to get hard with no stimulation from her. I have no problem pleasing her with foreplay, but it never gets reciprocated and then I go soft. Super frustrating as we both see it now. Before I could maybe hide it, and work myself back into a semi state of readiness, but not so anymore.

[innovative-indigo-narwhal]

I’ll tell you something that has worked for confidence in the past. I had Mojo I think less than a year ago. And yes I’ve been doing with this for forever. I know a couple things.

Breath work is a good thing.
Propanolol or a beta blocker medication that keeps your heart rate low may help you if you’re really spun up. But the breathing will definitely calm me down. Do it all all the time. Do it throughout the day and notice yourself become slightly lightheaded and calm. Meditation is good. It does help

Now… onto my point

1. if you have morning erections and you can get an erection while masturbating even if it takes a little bit that proves that you’re not broken so that’s the first part. Have confidence in the fact that there’s nothing physically wrong at least not to the point where it can happen.

2. The psychological part when I used Mojo before and actually yesterday. I did the waxing and waning technique. Basically visualize an encounter with your partner that’s going well and your breathing is calm and everything‘s cool. And then manually stimulate yourself until you get erection. Let it go back down to nothing and then do it again. Do it three times in a row. Shows you that you can go up and down and up and down Consistently. That will definitely help with checking your inner critic.

Remember, if you can see that you can recover multiple times then that anchors positivity in your mind that it’s all bullshit psychological.

I know I’m going to conquer this one day and be a pillar of support for everyone.

Just remember, it is just your thoughts. And all they are our thoughts. They are not facts. Pushed that inner critic down into the corner and abuse him. Tell him to shut up. Have the larger and more positive image of yourself stand in the center of your head, and only speak positive to you.

The last thing is given 100% to yourself every day. Focus on being the very best for yourself and doing the very best for yourself. That way you cannot be disappointed. It’s not a wasted day. Today is day three of mojo and I’m starting to feel better. Not perfect, but heading in the right direction.

I was calm this afternoon when I seen her. We kind of got into a quick little 10 second Makeout session and I definitely started to get hard because I felt sort of confident. Still have the stage fright but sometimes the best way to deal with that is to face it.

Let me explain something to you guys……

I have tons of experience in this. I’m a medical provider. But I also used to do psych.

The answers you were looking for in the places you don’t want to go. You cannot go around your problems. You have to go through it. Going to the cave and fight the dragon you’re scared of. The more you do it the more confident you will grow at doing it. Even if you’re losing. When you avoid the problem, it’s like avoiding the dragon. It grows bigger and bigger the longer you wait to face it.

Remember, you can only be as best as you are, and after that there’s nothing else.