I’ve never been too confident sexually and I’ve had problems with maintaining erections ever since I started having sex, due to confidence and self-esteem issues. Granted, I’ve had quite a few partners at this point in my life, but in recent years, when it came to women that I didn’t care all that much about, I didn’t have as many issues. But now, I’ve met an amazing woman who is everything that I am looking for, but I cannot for the life of me get out of my head when we try having sex. We just tried to have sex for our third time, and once again, I got hard, but then I soft, then I got hard again, and then I got soft again. I tried to push past it, but I couldn’t. I fear I am going to lose this woman because of my impotence. I just got all of the bloodwork done to see if I had any physical issues, but my bloodwork came back all clear, so I know it’s all in my head. I don’t know what to do and now I am very afraid that I am going to lose out on a real chance at love because of this. I need help…
I hear you, i am in exactlh the same boat. I did have successful sex in bed on our sides with me behind her. I think that it seems less intimate than me on top facing each other. For some reason I was able to stay hard but as soon as I felt I was cli.axing I didnt hold back and came right away so I wouldnt loose my erection. My girl loves me cumming inside her so she dosent mins me cuming early.
I’ve had this same issue before. It’s easier with someone casual that your heart isn’t wrapped up in, because there’s less pressure. I have pushed past it and been able to get hard with a woman that I couldn’t before. It could help to talk to her and let her know it’s a mental thing and you’re working on it, even mention mojo. Cialis can give you an extra boost too in the meantime. I know the exact feeling you’re having and the fear of losing her, but trust me it is possible to get past it!
I’ve been having a similar issue with my wife the past month or so. This morning, I wanted to fuck her and I kept starting to get into my own head and having a hard time getting it up. I stopped myself by thinking about just doing what I wanted and frankly, not giving a shit how she wanted it. As I got more into deep hard fucking her like I wanted to, I got more and more turned on and made it through some pretty great (albeit short) sex. I told her I was sorry, but I just had to let go of worrying about pleasing her first and enjoy the sensations I was enjoying. She actually appreciated it and said, “if that is what works for you, okay…but your gonna have to find a way to make me cum too, either before…or after.” Not sure if this will work every time, but it sure worked this time!!
I’ve been having the same issues with my wife. It feels like it all started when we started having sex a bit less frequently. Since it’s less frequent, I feel like there is more pressure on me to perform when the moment is right. I even found myself shying away from initiating sex for fear of failure.
I still have a lot of progress to make, but initiating sex more frequently has slightly helped me feel more comfortable since there isn’t this massive buildup for the time the moment is perfect. In some ways it’s a form of “exposure therapy” similar to battling anxiety from public speaking.
I’ve also just communicated to my wife more about my thoughts and how I’m feeling and they aren’t fun conversations, but it does ultimately help put your mind at ease a bit.
She’s definitely talking to her friends about it. Use something to help for now until you get back on it. Try more natural boosters