So I actually have size issues. since the very first girl was ever with (at 14) it has been communicated to me from females that I am below average in size and girth and that it is mainly girth that is the problem. This has now turned into ed in later life and now with the combination of both, I canāt even get a girlfriend.
The worst thing about it is I am very good at getting women, that has never been a problem but when you can get a lot of women and you get this negative feedback confirmed multiple times it screws up your head and I am so worried about what a female thinks there is no way I am getting it up, so when a sexual encounter happens I am ghosted after it.
For me, this is devastating to the extent I have given up on even dating and engaging with women as I think what is the point I am only going to disappoint them, humiliate myself, and then have to go through it all again.
My biggest worry with this app is that it canāt help with size so even if I manage to get past ed will it just come straight back when I get insulted by women because I dont live up to their expectations?
I have put off getting help for so long as I am so ashamed to even talk about this and any time I have ever tried with doctors they just chuck Viagra at me which no longer works either cause the physiological blocks and fear is so high.
Dont know why I am commenting. I guess it feels good to be able to actually say it to another person but I worry that the size thing is going to be the reason I stay single and never have children.
I dont know what to do juts know I am at my wits end
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I feel ya man.
Same boat. My marriage imploded a while back.
I found a lady that is incredibly understanding. I was up front with her about my Ed. Since Iām not as big as most, I decided to get great at oral and fingering. She says sheās satisfied. I also have introduced toys, which she enjoys as well.
Keep working the app.
If youāre into porn and solo, maybe give it a break for a few weeks or monthsā¦
It makes a difference.
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Size and shape should not matter. Actually a vagina only has nerve endings in the first cm - (to help with the pain of childbirth). Men can worry about this so much. Hopefully Mojo can help you understand your worries, give you exercises to help you feel more confident around the ED and then it will be important to find genuine partners, who you can share your worries with and I am sure they will reassure you that the size is not what is important in a relationship. Good luck! : )
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Thanks for responding, I appreciate it. I am aware of the nerve endings and I would love it if size and shape didnāt matter as I am aware that this is the hand I have been dealt and I have to play with it for me why It has me so messed up is the responses from females.
The first female at 14 it was hands but she literally went and told the school that I was āsmallā and I went from being popular to a laughing stock and bullied overnight. As a result, I shied away from sex until I was like 20 and I must have walked away from 20 or 30 opportunities in my teens (see we moved location at 16) so I was so scared of it all repeating and as a result, I was referred to as a weirdo. Then when I did start having sex everything was fine for a while until again a female decided I was too small and shared it with everyone (small town) and then everything started going downhill again.
I have been called pencil dick, told that they were expecting me to be big, and have had women refuse to have sex after seeing me naked, I have had relationships in the midst of all this but obviously, they didnāt last.
I am in my 40ās now and I am back shying away from sex and have been for the last few years, the last three women I was with all just stopped communicating after we did the deed so I dont know what I am supposed to do.
Thanks for the response, so tell me, how does one get āgreat at oral and fingeringā when you are in a time where having the opportunity to get to a stage to do it is tough?
Man, the fact that you wrote this is absolutely huge. I think there are so many guys with that exact issue, and donāt speak of it. It can feel so devastating, especially since itās a genetic thing, and really as you said āitās the cards youāve been dealt.ā I think that many guys find this issue serious enough where at some point they get so depressed that they would consider ending it. Not because of the āsizeā itself course, but what it means: not being able to sexually please your partner means they likely wonāt stay very long because its a big and important part of a relationship, so you are left lonely, and without the prospect of a relationship, a family, childrenā¦ etcā¦ My point here, is that what you shared what huge and incredibly meaningful, and that if you ever go down that rabbit hole, feel depressed, lonely, or you name itā¦know that you are not alone, and that the greatest thing a human can do is love. As long as you do not lose your capacity to love, then you arenāt lost. And as for pleasuring your partner, like the other commenter said, oral or cunnilingus as it is properly called, fingering, toys, and honesty are likely the best routes forward. They build confidence and intimacy, which help in the positive spiral as opposed to the negative one. Stay strong!
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Thanks for your response.
I have already gone through the depression stage, I am in my early 40ās now, and I have gone through every stage of this for me the worst stage is the stage I am in (not pursuing anything with women as I dont want to disappoint them or humiliate myself) and that is the reason I am here and the reason I am sharing as I am sick of keeping this to myself as I tell no one and that just is not serving me, so as I am here to do something about this once and for all I have to go all in.
Mentally I am fine with it as in it no longer causes me to get depressed or go down those types of rabbit holes but obviously there is damage done, I do get lonely and I would like children and this shouldnāt be the reason why that doesnāt happen I think a big part of me is more shocked by the reactions of females I have been with and when the odd one or two voices anything about it, it is usually poison. It is definitely the reactions from women more than the actual physical side of it that has done the most damage and holding me back the most.
I never was told I had a small penis by any woman that Iāve dated except my ex wife of 11 years. But I am pretty sure that was said out of spite and not actual facts. While I do not have a honker, Im quite sure itās enough and gets the job done. We are our own worst enemies, our brains are the epicenter of everything our bodies do. While women may have said you are small, I bet you are at least average or above 4". Anything above 4" should technically satisfy a woman unless they have had a wealth of sexual partners. I struggle with Ed too and itās all in my head. I know it sounds selfish but what has started helping me is I need to bust a nut too. Get selfish for that part but also learn to stimulate a woman in other ways, make her forget about the size of your dick but focus on how good she feels. Stimulate her while you are inside with your hands or a toy. Watch videos on how to do oral, you will thank many of us later.
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For me, Iād watched a lot of porn before I cut back.
I looked at as an art of seduction. Playfully teasing, massaging, stroking her but avoiding her clit with fingers or tongue. Give an occasional pass over the hood or clit, just to let her know you hadnāt forgotten about itā¦. Kiss your way down there. Wet sloppy kisses from her mouth down her neck to her breasts, again-avoid the nipple for a while. Then spend some time on her nipples. Donāt be in a hurry. Relax. Nice and slowā¦ Start your kissing journey down her belly while gently pinching her nipple and rubbing a thighā¦ make your way down both legs to her toes. Occasionally bring your hand to her pussy and lightly rub it with your full palm while making your way down and back up her legs. Now that you have her attention, use a finger to outline her pussy. All the way around. Then up and down the slit. Lift 1 of her legs up to give you better access. Gentle kisses all over. Then start with your tongue. Use your tongue to wet an area then kiss it. Like a tongue kiss. Do this a couple times in various spots around her outer lips-then slowly plunge your tongue in her. Get to know her pussy. How exposed is her clit? Can you always find it? Does she like clittoral or Gspot orgasms better? For me itās a gentle teasing, making her really want to cum before I push her over the edge.