Well, since the first time i tried having sex at 18, (after years of watching porn of course), my dick would simply get hard, and right before I would put it in, it would go soft due to nerves. and since then (now 27) it has been a constant snowball effect. I use viagra something, which i genuinely do not need as my dick can very well get rock hard without it. My current girlfriend who ive been seeing for 2 months now, i havent had this problem with her until last week, for some reason it just happened again, and then yesterday it happened again because i was worried about it happening again. I just dont want this to be another snowball into the same issue, the cycle of stressing about my dick going soft right before i put it in, and that stress being the reason its going soft. I hype it up subconciously everytime im about to have sex, then when i try to talk myself out of it, it just creates more anxiety and kills the mood for me and then in turn for her. Any advice is appreciated
Definitely communicate with your partner about it (ie. your experience with it in the past, your worry about it having happened again, how it’s nothing to do with her, etc.).
It can be attractive to your partner for you to be able to communicate confidently and clearly about it. Also the act of expressing it (as opposed to it snowballing in your own head) will likely help alleviate some worry.
Seems like your first step should be communication.
I’ve suffered on an off with the same issue for years also.
I’ve spoken to my new partner about it - on the first night we were going to sleep together actually. She loved the honesty, and at least I knew that she wasn’t worrying it was her! Which was one less thing on my mind.
Defo tell her about it and see if there’s relaxation exercises you can do before hand