The “Ask the Mojo Community” section has a post asking whether someone should talk to a new female sexual partner about their ED issues before they have sex. Naturally many are supportive of that idea but it made me think: would that EVER work in most of the gay community? There is so much pressure to perform when hooking up that I think talking about ED in advance would just kill the opportunity. Besides, my ED is transient so it’s historically been a gamble whether it’ll happen or not so why start off on a sour note?
Thoughts?
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My one night stands are generally after a night on the town and we are a both a bit sauced up. Often neither of us finish and rarely do we keep in touch.
I dont enjoy those encounters, at least once I’ve sobered up and think back to them.
I much prefer to have a connection with someone that I hookup with, as it makes me less anxious to perform. And those people I generally find, I make sure are understanding and empathetic before we do the deed. I’ve spoken with many about it openly because if it’s a deal breaker what do I have to lose? You know how many have snubbed me after talking about it? 0. They were all supportive and basically said “if it happens it happens and it’s no biggie”. In those circumstances I generally performed better, but it did happen on occasion and when it did we just switched things up a bit until eventually we both got there.
Easier said than done to find these kinda guys I guess, but I like to think that they’re in the majority and not the minority in the community.
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Thanks for chipping in your thoughts. Glad to hear you’ve had success with the conversation!