I’ve been having really bad psychological ED for the past 2 years and a half. I get hard by myself without issue. I got married as a virgin for religious reasons, and I still am a virgin due to my ED. I have tried a lot of different things like Viagra and Cialis, anxiety meds, therapy, couples therapy. I’m in shape and workout a lot. Nothing has really worked. Any time we get to penetration I lose my erection. Sometimes I don’t get hard at all and this is very difficult for my wife and I feel a lot of shame over it. I’m attracted to my wife, but I can’t get turned on when I’m with her because I’m so nervous about my erection. I’ve spent these past few years trying to get over it but I haven’t been able to. It’s really disheartening because I haven’t had one successful encounter EVER.
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Continue with therapy, the mental exercises here, and most importantly talking to your wife. If she understands (or tries to) that can decrease your anxiety. Focus on non-penetrative sexual things for a bit to take the pressure off and help you to relax in a sexual situation. Best wishes to you
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Remember to be happy! You mentioned you are religious, do you think God wants you agonizing over this day in and day out. Imagine you never get to have sex, do you want to ruin your entire life over it, or do you want to choose to LIVE.