Hi guys, Im new here! 33 year old guy that up until about 1 year ago never had any issues at all with getting hard! Infact quite the opposite, I could basically get hard on command! Which makes this whole situation feel even worse. So please prepare for a potentially long read but Im kinda venting my issues here for myself aswel.
2 years ago I found out my girlfriend of 8 years who I loved more than I can really even describe, was cheating on me… with a girl. This was the girl I thought Id marry, have kids with and spend the rest of my life with. But alas it wasnt meant to be.
After this I took some time out of dating/relationships and tried focusing on and working on myself and I eventually reached a point where I felt good again and was ‘over it’. I had plenty support from family and friends.
I then decided Id give dating a go again, Im not getting any younger and I donhave ambitions of having a family one day but I really dont want to be starting that too late.
So I met a girl and things were fine we dated for a few months, nothing too serious and the sex was great. It didnt however work out and we parted ways.
I then met another girl and we clicked really well, got on well together and at the start had some great sex… then rolled around one night we started getting a bit heated in the kitchen and next thing we were having sex on the kitchen table… she then suggested going upstairs which we did and by the time we got up stairs my erection was gone and I couldnt get it back up again… this was the beginning of my problems.
The next time I seen her days before it I was already in my own head fearfull this would happen again and in response to this I just completely avoided even trying to have sex with her just incase.
We never actually had sex again and parted ways…
I then met another girl and we had casual sex on and off for a few months but thats all it ever was, she was into some proper kinky stuff which I did enjoy… but this also marks the point in which I started dabbling in trying viagra/cialis which to begin with worked fine but now I dont feel like ot even has an effect, I’ll still sometimes take it if I know sex is on the cards as a ‘confidence’ boost but it doesnt really do anything.
That little fling with her didnt end particularly well(long story in itself).
I then hooked up with a girl Id known for a while through the gym and this is where my problems started getting really bad, after a night out we tried having sex and nothing… I put it down to having too much to drink but it restarted that mental worrying game again… what followed was another 2 seperate failed attempts sober and with the use of pills but I was already doomed before we even started through constantly worrying days before the event even happened. She eventually broke things off with me because of this issue, she was open and honest about it which I appreciate but it didnt fill me with confidence going forward.
I went to the doctors after this and got bloods done as I thought maybe its testosterone related because I now also have zero and I mean ZERO libido, my desire for sex is completely gone. As it turns out though I actually have very high test levels… way above the average which the doctor said if anything should have the opposite effect on libido. He thinks this whole situation is entirely mental and its just performance anxiety which im inclined to agree with.
Im a healthy guy, dont drink unless its an occasion, never smoked in my life, I go gym 4/5 times a week lifting weights, granted I could do more cardio… Im a fairly confident guy thats never had an issue with attracting women…
Ive now met a new girl and this ones different, for the first time in 2 years this is the first one Ive met that I can genuinely see a future with and I feel like its going to be ruined by my issues…
we had sex fornthe first time 2 weeks ago, at night started off fine with the foreplay, I got hard but as soon as ot came to sex I lost it… I ofcourse still seen to her, Im not a selfish lover 
. And then in the morning we tried again and successfully managed to have sex albeit it was over alot quicker than Id have liked.
But now im in a state of worry that I’ll keep having these problems and ruin this relationship for me. I hope im wrong and im hoping with the use of this app I can get through these problems but we will see!
I apologise for the very long read but I had to get it out somewhere.
Any advice or words of encouragement/wisdom will be very much welcomed! Thanks guys!