Stop start doesn’t work in this situation - what does?

🌋 Early climax
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If 10 is ejaculating, then for me if I get to a 7 I need to stop, otherwise to keep thrusting/stimulating means I’m going to 10 in a matter of 10 seconds or less. Plenty of time to stop and start again.

In the middle of sex this is fine. We can switch positions or just take a breath together while I settle down.

The problem is she will get into a rhythm, especially with my glans hitting her Urethral sponge and she will have a small orgasm, then she will increase the force as she starts to bring on a whole body orgasm.

At this point I’m nearly always at a 7 from her first climax. I simply can’t stop at this point, it completely releases all of her buildup, and she crashes pretty hard to be that close and not make it.

I’m never able to go the 35/40 seconds she needs to go, I’ve got maybe 10.

In self practice with a masturbation sleeve I’ve tried I feel everything- reverse kegel, regular kegel, mindfulness/try to identify/bring attention to things I can see, then feel, then smell…: I’ve tried holding my breath, tried exhaling all breath…

Nothing has worked. If I get to a 7…it’s stop or come.

I suppose then the strategy has to be to not get to a 7…but is there anything anybody has done to get the horse back to a trot when it’s already galloping towards ejaculating?

My wife doesn’t want to have sex with me until she knows that I trust myself to fully handle her.

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The part at the end stands out to me the most.

“My wife doesn’t want to have sex with me until she knows that I trust myself to fully handle her”

Sounds like you’ve put in so much good work, but that there isn’t really a safe supportive space from your partner to help you overcome the mental game component of this.

I wonder in general what the support and communication looks like in the relationship. Do you feel your needs are being met and you’re being supported the way you need to be?

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How just ejaculating but trying to stay hard for more seconds for your wife to finish? Isn’t that an option? I’ve done that, because I know exactly what you mean when she gets into a rhythm and there’s no break… You can put your mind to it, but it’s difficult to really stop and she doesn’t want to… In those situations sometimes I ejaculate and try to keep my dick hard enough for her to finish. It doesn’t always work, but mostly because she stops. When she doesn’t, it’s great for both. Obviously, the more you Dan delay your ejaculation, the better