While all the theory about start stop is great and I can manage to do it while masturbating I feel extremely challenging to put it in practice while having sex. My wife is aware of my practice but she can’t handle the frustration about annoyingly stopping every minute or so. Of course the whole situation makes me even more anxious and I’m overthinking for next time… As for now I will just keep practicing
1 Like
The exercise really helps you identify your levels of arousal and you can try and learn how to control them without really stopping. I actually did that today on my own, while masturbating. I didn’t really stop touching myself when I felt I was close to cumming, but started breathing, thinking about the feeling and trying to control the ejaculation. And it worked until I decided it was time. And it was a very delicious orgasm. I’ll try to keep doing that in the future.
1 Like
I don’t know how you manage that for me it’s like I have an delayed reaction and only when it’s too late I try to stop it and never works I fail. Im loosing hope need to save my marriage
1 Like
Biggest thing for me was when I stop, I use it as a way to connect more to my wife. I play with her hair, scratch her back, hold her hand, massage her shoulders, etc. I can see where stopping and just waiting may be frustrating but I’ve used it as a way to not only stop, but also to ground myself in the moment. Has been slowing me way down and I’ve had best sex since we’ve gotten married albeit only 1 year ago.
2 Likes
Women take much longer to “cook” and get excited about sex physically and mentally too, so this time of closeness and connection (when I need to stop to avoid PE) is simultaneously allowing her time to get into it.
1 Like
Last thing is I’ve noticed I last much longer using different positions than just being on top. Vaginal sex behind my wife has been a game changer. We’ve also found that changing position mid sex not only slows me down too but it changes the sensation for her. Just a few recent things that have helped me a bunch. A lot of these changes and even being comfortable having these conversations with my wife stemmed from listening to the first podcast with Ben, which I think was super helpful.
Same here re the delayed reaction and realising too late I’m close to cum. I think it’s about keep practicing to try cracking this bit