On the times when I have been able to get an erection so that I can have sex, I usually can’t seem to get myself to climax, just with the act of thrusting sex. I usually have to take a pause and start masturbating until I’m right on the edge of an orgasm and then insert back in to finish and climax. I’m assuming it’s because when I masturbate, I usually have a hard grip and jack off at a quick pace. During sex, I can’t get to the same cadence and pressure on my penis as I do when I masturbate. Does this happen to any other guys and does anyone have any suggestions to help with this problem? Needing to pause and masturbate in between, definitely breaks the mood. I wish I could just stay with the thrusting sex and just take it all the way. Any tips would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Hmmm, I guess this must not be an issue for other guys??
I can’t cum at all during sex. For the post ,7 years of being sexually active, I have never been able to cum during sex. Not through penetration (condom or no condom) not during oral or even when a girl gives me a hand job… I’ve done everything I could think of… Not TOUCHING MYSELF for day’s weeks or months almost. Letting myself “go” or using my less dominant hand and nothing has worked… So I feel you…
It could be, as you say, that you’re conditioned to climaxing from your usual masturbation technique. You could try and change the habit by not masturbating for a while or trying to masturbate in a way that is softer and you’re more aware of the feelings of it (like the increase in temperature from rise in blood flow).
I used to have an issue that I couldn’t climax from a blow job. In the last few months I’ve been working on cutting down on porn and focussing more on the good physical feelings during sex. I’ve found this has actually made me more sensitive now and I usually climax when my partner gives me a blowjob.
When it comes to having sex if you’re not able to climax you could try different positions and tempos. There are some positions I can go on in for a long time without climaxing. There are others where I know I am mega sensitive and as soon as I do them I will climax. For example I know that if I thrust really hard and fast I’ll climax. I know if I’m in a position that I can go inside really deep I’ll climax. I’ve found those from experimenting so maybe you could play around to find what works for you.
Thanks so much, those are all really good suggestions. I’ve started doing this mindful masturbation class on here, seems to focus on getting in tune to touch and feeling. I’ll try mixing up some positions as you suggested, as I realize we seem to always just use the same position. Maybe changing that up a bit will help. I’ll try some of this and report back. Thanks!
I am having a similar issue. My wife of 25 years we have had up and down sex life. I have battled Low T for almost 20 years and am now on Testopel implantation going on 8 years. Well the last 6 months we have revitalized our sex life but had a dip in January and February as our relationship had a rocky point(a close friend was trying to fuck my wife behind my back and I was afraid of losing her) well got through that and lately we would start out with foreplay and fingering her and I then get really hard but when I go to enter her I lose my erection and then start getting anxiety and have trouble getting it back. So last weekend when I asked for sex she said if we have it she wants me to actually fuck her and finish which is putting more pressure on me and she wouldnt . SO we will see what happens next time but tonight I am going to try and take 15mg Cialis and see if that works. ANy tips or suggetsions would be appreciated
Hey there, How have things worked out for you? Did the Cialis seem to help you in your situation? I have been doing a lot of the meditation tracks and I think it helps to keep yourself calm and get out of your head when those worries start to creep in that make your erection soften. For me it’s also helped to have me focus on every sensation happening to me and focus on that. The last time I had sex with my partner, I was able to stay hard and I kept focusing on what it felt like when I was inside and I was actually able to orgasm inside which I haven’t done in a very long time. There’s one other thing I stumbled on recently, I happened to learn about this thing called the “Angion method” which are exercises that focus on strengthening the blood flow to the penis. I was noticing the last few years that when I did get an erection, it just wasn’t as strong as it used to be. I’ve been doing these exercises for about a month now and I can swear that my erection quality is way up and I can get an erection a lot quicker than I have in the past. So maybe look into that. Also I’ve found the community check ins here on Mojo have been very helpful. It’s somehow reassuring to hear from other guys experiencing some of the same issues I’ve been having. Anyways, I hope some of these tips might be of help.
Thanks for the advice ! I had sex with my wife about a month ago and was unable to finish for like the 3rd time in a row and that upset her making her feel like she is doing something wrong but I was also getting over a prolonged sinus infection so wasnt feeling all that well. I have been trying the Angion exercises and trying to strengthen my pelvic floor and I think it is helping. I have also been taking cialis when I know we may have sex. Well last night we were out with friends at our local bar. I came home early and she came home later and I woke up when she got home and when she came to bed I said I wanted to fuck her and we got it on and I was able to stay hard and even cum inside her which made her feel good. A few hours late I woke up horny for more and was able to fuck her for a prolonged period but wasnt able to cum but it had only been a few hours. How is everything going with you ?
Hey there, good to hear that the Angion method has helped you. I think it’s really been making a difference with me on my erection quality. You might also consider trying some of the meditations on here too I think they’re helpful. That’s awesome that you had that recent encounter with your wife where you were able to stay hard and also cum inside of her. I bet since it was on your terms and you were in the mood, it helped surround you with all the right conditions! Congrats, keep it up! I’ve also continued to make some good progress, I was also able to fuck my partner recently and also cum inside. I think having all these supportive resources on here has contributed to my progress. Good luck!