Staying hard / negative thoughts

Hi all, just need some advice

I’m 21, been in multiple situations to have sex with multiple girls but the outcome is still the same. Ever since my first sexual encounter when I couldn’t get it up on my first time and the girl questioned it. Messed my brain up. I’ve been with my girlfriend for about a month now, things are perfect except in the bedroom. She’s also very anxious and inexperienced and told me straight up that she won’t make the first move, so I have to be the one. Couple nights ago we were making out and getting handsy etc, I was rock hard. Thought that “ we’re on here. “ went down on her then instantly got soft. This has happened multiple times with multiple different women. I keep hearing a pleading voice in my head saying “ please get hard please get hard “ over and over and it just makes me feel so shit and angry at myself. Also been taking Cilatil-tadaladil 20mg but that hasn’t seemed to help.

Any advice to get over this hump/mental block would be greatly appreciated.

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Didn’t realise I posted twice, sorry. It told me there was an error and it didn’t go through.