Hi all, very new to this app. Just wanted some advice. Bit of a long one but would appreciate any help!
I’m 21 and I’ve been in multiple situations to have sex over the years but my first time has left my brain in fight or flight mode every time I’m close to having sex. I couldn’t get it up my first time and the girl questioned me. Ever since then my brain has been fucked. I’ve been with my girlfriend for about a month and a half and she’s also had problems in the past with sex and will not make the first move or initiate sex, so I have to be the one. Few nights ago I was over at hers, making out etc I was hard as a rock. I thought “ we’re on here, green lights. “ went down on her and instantly got soft again. This has happened multiple times with different women as well. Any advice to get over this hump or mental block would be amazing. Thank you for taking the time to read.
2 Likes
I’ve been in a really similar situation the past couple years. Also my first experience basically fucked up my brain and how i think about sex (performance instead of something fun and easy).
I’m working on it still but what I definitely noticed is the issues get much much smaller when im ACTUALLY horny snd in the mood. Basically don’t force yourself to be sexual, or to pleasure her, wait until you actually feel like it, let it build up, and focus on your own enjoyment of it, not just you performing well or whether you’re able to do it
1 Like
In the same boat kinda bro,27 here and after I left my gf when I was 24 she’s had scarred me for life when I saw her disappointment when I couldn’t perform one time.Literally after that I couldn’t get hard with multiple one night stands.It really fucked my brain up and my confidence but I learned to think of it as much.Im not gonna convince you to do so but what helped me is taking online ED medications for a bit so my mind it’s not on a nervous fight or flight mode but more of a “what am I nervous for ? I got this! “ but like i said its what helped me for the time being single as far as long term I don’t want to rely on that