Been on the program for a couple of weeks now and wife is on board, helps out and we talk about things which is great.
But now we are up to the sensate exercise and done 1 together but now I’m flying solo. It’s just like there is always something stopping it like kids, tired, on her phone, not in the mood, bit like she is not interested and just does it to help.
Also I’m starting to feel like it’s getting like our sex life was it booked in/ premeditated.
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I understand how you feel about the “scheduled” sex. For some, it can be a useful tool to designate time for intimacy. Others, it creates pressure to perform, like a job or appointment.
The primary issue to address here is communication. I get it. Family gets in the way. You and your partners are not always in-sync. But control the factors that you can.
The next time you find a moment with your partner, talk to her. Communicate how important her support is on this journey you’re on.
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Not the op here. Yes I agree the communication is critically important. But I do not find it easy.
I can easily imagine or probably expect that if I share how important it is to me I would be rebuffed ie she wouldn’t seem to care or use it against me in some way.
I realize I think that is partly (mostly?) due to her own issues - low body image, not feeling sexy and confident herself - but boy my immediate response is to feel it’s about me. It may well be, but my initial reponse is based on my mind reading rather than actually what she says.
I am hoping some mindfulness work will help me slow my reaction to these thoughts down a bit so I can actually respond instead of react and so communicate constructively and find out what’s going on for both of us. Good i theory…