I usually don’t have a problem getting an erection from looking at, fantasizing about, or my wife touching me. The problem arises when we start having sex during foreplay. If I am eating her out I usually lose my full erection into a half erection. I am not sure why because i love eating her out. Then sometimes it is hard to get fully erect again. I also struggle with not lasting long, and then can never get hard for her again even after waiting an hour or more. Then I really start beating myself up because all I want to do is make sure I can please her and I have never been good at sex as she is the first and only person I have done it with. I think I have a lot of anxiety around pleasing her and being able to last long enough for her. I don’t really know where to start to even improve my stamina and I’m not sure if that is something mojo will help with. I have been working on trying to please her orally and with my fingers, and even got her some vibrators. The vibrator just seems very robotic and makes me feel even worse about myself when we have to use it, which is pretty much every time. Any tips or advice is appreciated.
I can relate to what you’re saying. I think that 90% of the issue is that the sexual self is kind of selfish and childish, so it is repulsed by responsibility. Whenever I want to please my partner too much, I don’t get as hard as I do when I just have the overarching pleasure of the sexual relationship in mind. I would even go as far as saying that your wife will probably have more pleasure if you focus more on your own pleasure. That doesn’t mean that you can’t go down on her and finger her, but try to focus more on your senses and your pleasure in general. Responsibility is the enemy of arousal.