Someone is playing a very cruel prank on me

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Family and relationships
1

I don’t know what to say anymore.

I’ve recently entered a new relationship with a girl from Uni, and the two nights we’ve been out were great. Unfortunately, after our second night, we haven’t seen each other for three weeks. This is because she was very busy with coursework and dealing with some personal stuff. As a result, not only did we not go out at all, she’s also not been responding to my messages, and would take literal days to actually reply.

Now, look, I’m usually very patient, and I understood that she was going through a tough time, so I was just understanding to her and tried to stay patient until we would eventually go out. Well, unfortunately my patience was crossed, but I somehow held on.

Then last night happened. The night where we would finally meet up again. It was at a Uni society event, so there were others there too. I hung around with my friends as I waited for her to arrive. And then, after two hours, she finally came.

And… what did she do? Well, at first, all seemed well- we hugged, I gave her a kiss and all. But then all of a sudden, she kinda just kicked me away. I was just talking to her, I even had a drink ready for her, and she just shunned me off, left to get “acclimatised” to the area.

Now, look, I don’t know what that was all about, but she hasn’t gone out in a long time, I guess, and maybe the fact that she’s autistic might’ve played a role in it (or maybe not, I know basically nothing about autism so I don’t want to make any assumptions). Nevertheless, I let her have her moment.

Later, I tried talking to her again, and she just wanted “space”. She came to the society event to socialise with the others; fair enough, I came here for that too (but mainly for her). But then she said that I was more of a “bonus”. She said she felt obligated to “entertain” me all the time if I was standing with her while she was socialising with the others.

I had to go for a walk to even process wtf I was dealing with. An hour later, when I returned from my walk, she hasn’t changed. She didn’t come to the society event for me. She came to socialise with the others.

To a certain extent, I understand, because she doesn’t know who her friends are right now. But, I’m sorry, I’ve been waiting for three fucking weeks to see her, waiting full days to get a simple fucking response on Instagram DMs, and when we finally meet, THIS happens?! I’m a fucking “bonus”?!

I feel like God or nature or someone in this world is playing a very cruel prank on me, and I don’t know WHAT to do. I don’t want to break up with her, because I feel extremely lucky that I even managed to go on two dates with her in today’s dating scene which is fucking awful. But at the same time, in two days, I’m leaving for Easter holidays and not coming back for three weeks, so I won’t get to see her, thus not knowing what SHE thinks of “us”. It’s fucking infuriating, and I’ve given up all hope.

2

You’ve been out with her 2 times?
Your first relationship?
Hers??
You mentioned autism: one of the main things autistic folks lack is social skills…
I’d give her some time or move on after a clarifying conversation.

3

Honestly it sounds like you’re too into the girl for having just met her. She might be picking up on that and pulling back.

Focus more on yourself, socializing and having good energy, and girls want to be around that. All easier said than done, but continuing to stew on this girl will add more pressure to your interactions and likely prevent it from going anywhere imo

4

I’ve been focusing on myself for like five months now! I’m sick of it, I feel like I’m not making any progress even when I commit. What’s the fucking point anymore when after all of that nothing goes right??

5

Bro, I’m not gonna sugarcoat this but it sounds like she isn’t all that keen on you. Get yourself out there and start talking to other girls, it’s tough being caught up on one but try and get involved with someone who is going to reciprocate your efforts!

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6

What are you gonna do then bro? Give up, cmon man stop talking like that, all these steps all this effort will bring you to the place you need to be. Maybe try therapy bro, work out your own issues at a deeper level. Dont throw on the towel.

7

Easier said than done. I feel extremely lucky to even have something going on with her in the first place. Today’s dating scene is the worst. I’ve already tried with several girls before her, each attempt being a bigger disappointment than the previous.

8

Never seek validation from a girl. I know you are enamored by her and its hard but once a woman knows she has you; you are toast (doesnt matter how good looking you are). Women want mystery, and a challenge. These arent games-its biology.

I recommend you go about and try to forget her.

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9

I’ve been in the same place before and it’s brutal, but change doesn’t happen quickly. It sounds like youre building your life and happiness around this girls validation to some extent, but that’s too much for most people.

Gotta work on building out your life so that any girl is a bonus, not a necessity. You’ll never be able to find true happiness in someone else anyway. Ironically you’ll do much better with girls when you’re less concerned with if they’ll want to go out with you

10

Don’t you ever waste your time on anyone who makes you feel like an obligation. If anyone says that to you, you respectfully tell them to fuck right off.

Or be mature and just walk away.

Either way, get people like that out of your life. She clearly has no respect for you, so don’t have much for her, Autistic or not, this person is a prick.

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11

Dude, have some self respect and walk away. Don’t ever let anyone treat you like you are a bother, or aren’t important to them. Especially if you’re supposedly dating her! Move on to greener pastures my friend.

12

Been through this kind of thing before. Just walk away, she isn’t worth the stress, you’d be better off without her.. especially at uni of all places. Forget about it and enjoy the uni life with your mates!