Just wanting to post this to get it off my mind, but I had a nightmare this week. Been seeing a girl who has some serious self consciousness issues, and because of that she said she wants to get the first time we have sex out of the way. I was working from home, and she said sheād come round for sex on my break, sounds pretty good but I was actually pretty busy, I didnāt turn it down though because I didnāt want her to think I was rejecting her. I told her what time to come round, but already in my head I was thinking this is all a bit too regimented and unnatural.
She arrived and we pretty much straight away went to the bedroom, and she goes āok now I need this to happen right nowā, she obviously felt pretty uncomfortable being undressed, and she is genuinely very beautiful by the way, she had an eating disorder so I think it must still be in her head, but her saying it has to happen right now mustāve got to me because no matter what I did nothing was happening for me. She took this as an insult, got up and left, so Iām just there like 
head completely gone.
We spoke on the phone after, I reassured her it wasnāt her fault, so she came back the next day but again it was all so regimented, arrived, bedroom straight away, again I was on my break from lunch, Iād been in non stop meetings when she arrived so by the time we were in bed together I was tired, and had loads of anxiety because of what happened the day before, she was in my bed 20 minutes trying all these things to help but again it wasnāt doing anything for me so she just got up and left, so again itās just blown my head off and Iām thinking have I got something wrong with me 
so thatās when I signed up to this. Itās definitely in my head now, sheās trying to initiate another attempt but I keep putting it off because I donāt think I can take it again. I do really like her but part of me is just thinking do I need to just try and meet someone else instead where the pressure isnāt there and see if I do actually have a problem or if it was just with her
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That would be tough for me also. I have to take it slow
I found my biggest issue with erections was because girls always take it personally and get offended (in my experience anyway), so then it puts loads more pressure on yourself. I actually told my partner I was working on it, Iām on this app, and that I have nothing āwrongā with my dick. Actually went down well and helped me overcome the pressure. Feel like now if it doesnāt happen, we can just be like oh well letās try another time.
Also, why donāt you explain the situation feels too organised and thatās whatās making it difficult for you?
Mate, if sheās coming over during a stressed work day, no wonder youāre not in the mood. Take her out to dinner, have a few drinks, get a little touchy under the table. Thatās more natural.
That sounded a ātall orderā for you to be able to perform when she needed you to. I agree with another post - this needs you to both take your time. It does sound as though she is really struggling with somethings. I think it is going to be really helpful for you to communicate together. I would suggest saying that you think you need to be able to take things slowly, agree to have time together (not during work hours), perhaps fully clothed, gently touching and kissing. Knowing the ārulesā are not to take it further. This can be so helpful for both of you and fun. Do this a few times, have a giggle, if you like each other choose to not rush and do it differently. Good luck : )
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Yeah thatād be my perfect scenario really, she doesnāt eat though haha, and doesnāt drink, thereās only so many coffee dates I can take 
100% agree with you though
Yeah I had it in my head how it was going to go, she said she was coming over the 2nd time so I was thinking Iāll be able to take control, postpone it until I was ready and then all good to go but as soon as she arrived she pretty much stripped off and sheād put on something she thought would help, and she went like ālie back Iām going to do all the work!ā Which is the opposite of what I need so at that point I just felt bad I didnāt want to upset her again. The whole thing was just a bit uncomfortable. I havenāt seen her since, which is a bit shit because she is nice, youāre right though I think we need to just sit down and talk about it properly
Get used to each otherās bodies. Spend night cuddli g on lounge, kissing passionately and then let each others hands go to work. I recently got over spectatoring by just mutually masturbatory. Foreplay without expectations of sex makes thi gās so much easier and fun.
Cialis is great but mentally ok is better.