Hi, I was recently dating a girl and on the first time we tried to have sex unfortunately it didn’t go well. She messaged the next day saying that she didn’t want to see me again. It’s completely shattered me and I feel awful about it. I was just nervous because I had liked her and got way too much in my head. She told me that it wasn’t because of the bad sex that she didn’t want to see me again so it might have been how I had reacted to it not going well that gave her the ick. Anyone else have something similar happen to them? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
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It’s best to react with grace and calm. Assuming it was a case of losing your erection, know that erections fluctuate in hardness throughout the duration of an intimate encounter with a partner, that this is normal. We self sabotage ourselves in noticing we’re going a little softer and scaring ourselves into losing altogether and not being able to get it back. It’s best not to focus on that and rather focus on being sensual and close eith your partner. Switch activities, kiss her passionately, go down on her and caress her body with your free hand(s). Touch yourself lovingly as you please her. Chances are your erection comes back.
And even if it doesn’t, don’t treat as such a big thing, like otherwise please her in all other ways and take satisfaction in seeing her pleased. You can still turn around a sexual encounter to feel like a fun successful time even in the absence of an erection,just be open-minded and creative.
If you have a bad reaction that you’re embarrassed about, maybe she got the ick as you say. Don’t feel bad, brother, it happens. Just learn to relax, the tools on this app certainly help in that regard. Next time you’ll handle it with more calm and grace. And maybe you’ll even get hard again and integrate your erection into the activities.
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Thanks a million for your response message. Everything that you had said there I will definitely take it on board. Do you think this is a common things that happens with lads with the first time with a new girl that they like? I just feel crap about her leaving me because of it. Thanks
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