Hey guys, I’m new to this app so bear with me. First off, I’m a 27 yr old male and have been dating my girl for over 3 months now (I’ve known her for about 6 months). We met organically through a friend and we immediately hit it off perfectly. We did not have sex until months later of dating and getting to know each other, so sex was not on the forefront of this relationship like my past ones have been due to me not wanting to make past mistakes. She is so far an amazing girlfriend who is very loving and supporting of me. For context, this year has been an emotional roller coaster to say the least. Late last year, my brother in law got into a motorcycle wreck that should have killed him and he is still recovering from a brain injury which is contributing to my sister and him having severe marital issues, I just moved out of my parents house about a month ago and adjusting to living on my own, I got out of a toxic relationship with my ex gf (on-and-off relationship for about 6 years) about 9 months ago which I still can say I am recovering from, I’m currently in college drowning in school work and suffering financially due to the moving out situation and school, working a full-time job as an EMT, and all the while I have been dealing with depression, low self esteem, and anxiety for years now. When I first had a sexual encounter with my current gf, I could not get it up for the life of me. But over time we kept trying and success! It eventually worked and we had some great sex for awhile there. Within the last month though my stress levels have been skyrocketed and my sex has plummeted yet again and the last couple times we have tried sex, my erections have went limp and I gave up, feeling embarrassed and ashamed. There has been a couple successes recently but they seem very far and few between. And when I DO manage to get an erection, I feel like I have to rush to bust a nut due to the fear that I will lose said erection. We do foreplay and take our time but I could not find myself ever being able to relax and get out of my head. I always feel tense and insecure which leads me to sometimes not even wanting to progress sexually because I know that I will just fail to get or keep an erection anyways. Also, I make sure to get her to orgasm with oral regardless if I can perform or not; usually before penetration. Thankfully my gf is very understanding and patient with me but I’m scared that I will leave her sexually unsatisfied and she will not view me as the ideal man for her since I can’t even perform as a man should. Ever since I moved out she stays at my house roughly 3-5 days a week and we will attempt sex about 1-2 times a week, usually with about 1 success. The other days, I don’t even initiate due to insecurity and she rarely initiates due to not wanting to pressure me. But I feel hurt when she doesn’t initiate thinking she isn’t attracted to me but I know that’s all in my head but dang I cannot help but feel insecure about it either. We are very close and bond in so many other ways and I overall love her company and vice versa. I am very attracted to her physically and emotionally and she is head over heels for me, but I can’t take this any longer. This is not me and I’m naturally very horny with a very high sex drive toward my partners. Another thing, I am a healthy guy that takes a multivitamin everyday, exercises 3x a week, eats relatively healthy, currently quitting vaping and only drink once a week. I DO need to prioritize better sleep and ESPECIALLY stress management, but overall my physical health is good—no medical issues. However mentally I am in shambles from stress, low self esteem, depression, and just burnout. I’m not gonna lie, I’m very discouraged fellas and I feel like less of a man. Any advice? Thoughts? Anything would be appreciated. Thanks.
Also for additional context, I have been addicted to porn and masterbating since I was around 12 years old. Only a couple months ago did I decide to go on the journey to cut porn out of my life entirely and to ease back on the whacking it (especially the rough death grip) and I do slip and watch xxx from time to time and still whack it, but the amount has cut back DRASTICALLY compared to me doing it every day. I realize I have to rewire my brain and get more in tune with my body so I expect that to take some time too.
Hey man, I’m 20 and relating to almost everything in that. I’d say if you haven’t already, talk to a professional. It took me a long time to work up the courage to seek proper help but now I have been seeing a psychologist for about 4 weeks and I don’t regret it at all. It takes time and effort but I feel that I have the determination to try my best which is why I decided to use mojo in addition.
It’s been mainly anxiety and overthinking I’ve been dealing with but I never really had a reason to do something about it until it was getting in the way of my sexual performance with my girlfriend.
I would be curious to see what other have to say due to the fact that our situation is similar in a few ways. All the best for the future though man I’m sure things will work out with time and effort.
Bro- your story is mine too.
Marriage ended. Found a wonderful supportive gf. Had PED for a long time. Pills didn’t work. I found the app. Realized porn and solo were killing me. Also have deathgrip (too used to my hand).
I’ve given up porn and solo (90%
) and gone hard at the app. I’m learning a lot and have started to see improvements. I’ve tried to shift my thinking to her pleasure rather than focusing on my erection or lack thereof. … She gets off multiple times when we’re together and has said many times that D would be nice but she’s absolutely content with oral and my hands. I’ve also brought a couple toys to bed that she really enjoys. We are much more open about my PED than my wife of 25 yrs and I EVER were.
Haven’t ’been’ with gf other than a brief lunch for a month as she’s taking care of her mom 2hrs away. Last week I popped a Viagra for a lil solo experiment and holy crap!! Hard as a rock and lasted forever!!!
I suspect all the app work is allowing the V to work!
I see gf for the night Friday….
Stay with the app. Use the explore buttons at the bottom. I’m listening to a therapy session now. It’s very interesting!
Good luck man!!
Thanks for the input brother. I’m glad it’s all coming together on your end and I hope to follow soon. This crap can really mess with your head.
Appreciate it man. Glad to hear it’s working out for you. I’m currently seeking therapy now and making some healthier life changes. It’s hard to be patient though not gonna lie lol
Hey bro, here to say I relate in more ways than one haha. 27 year old FF/EMT in SoCal (if you’re around, let’s grab lunch sometime!) whose struggled with PE since I can remember.
I’ve been married for a little over 7 years and been really working on this for about 2-3 months. I feel like I’ve tried it all. Pills (Tadalafil), creams, special condoms, masturbating beforehand, the works. I just hit 7 days on the app (whoop whoop!) and honestly, I noticed significant improvement with the mentality shift it focuses on. Coupled with restarting therapy soon, I’m super hopeful for the future.
Good luck with everything my man! Not sure if I’m allowed to post my phone number lol but if you want to vent to a supportive stranger or just have a dude you can chat with openly about something we men consider a very taboo conversation topic, hmu. 937-203-1954
Best of luck 
I know right? I really just wish I could flip a switch and have it all fixed…
As stated above, I gave up both weeks ago-(quit 95% from at least daily…) and I’m amazed at how easy it really was. I just keep in mind why I’m not doing it when I get in bed and do some Kegals & box breathing…,
I still slip occasionally, and I hope that doesn’t set me back…