Situation that crushed me. Any tips to overcome?

Last night I went on a first date with a stunning woman at a nice restaurant. We met online but texted for a week. There is a huge language barrier as I am in a foreign country and don’t speak the language too well, but we made it work and I liked her a lot. We ended up at my place and when the moment happened I couldn’t get it up and panicked. She kind of gave up and wanted me to call her an uber home. I asked her to stay and to keep trying but she said it was late. I apologized explained I was nervous and it wasn’t her fault but she is no longer interested in talking to me.

I’m absolutely crushed, I wasn’t able to sleep at all that night and today i feel extremely anxious. I keep thinking about it. Tips to overcome this?

Nervousness is natural. The right girl will help you ease into it and make you comfortable. It is important to understand that you don’t have to keep thinking about it. Just keep doing the exercises and believe in the process.

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I’ve had the same problem the first time with a new lady, but a combination of things has helped.
Firstly, make the ‘first time’ all about her pleasure. This has 3 advantages: 1) it takes the pressure off you, 2) she will enjoy your skills and want to see you again, 3) the second time she’ll be more willing to help if you struggle.

Obviously, you need to get good at fingering and oral - I found Gentleman Stirling’s methods excellent. Also, if she tries to get you hard you can say things like “no young lady…I need to learn more about you first” or “this pussy is mine” to make her relax and leave you in charge.

Second, I have a routine of things that maximise my chances. They consist of: celery the night before, a large glass of pomegranate juice and handful of pumpkins seeds that morning, no beer, no more than one glass of wine, a coffee and hour before, a hot shower when we get into the room. Individually they may not help but together theyve increased my “rising to the occasion” from 50% to 80%.

Wishing you well


The way she reacted clearly shows she wasn’t the right one at least for a committed, loving relationship. Next!

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Hey man,

Sorry to hear about that but it happens. Plus one on the above comment. What helped me and took the pressure off was if a women’s can’t understand the pressure you feel and judges you for not getting it up, do you want to be with that person really?

You’ll get through it man.


Plus 2 for the above comment. Not the right one for you! Plenty of understanding people out there that want more in a relationship.

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Hey dude,

It’s a complicated issue and a huge language barrier wouldn’t help. If they don’t come around best that it ended soon and you can devote that energy somewhere more worthwhile :v:t2:

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