Sexually active after 10 years celibate

I recently became sexually active again after being completely celibate for ten years (no sex or masturbation). I’m extremely attracted to my now girlfriend but I am unable to get hard sometimes despite how much I am attracted to her and lusting for her in my head. I think I have been fighting sexual arousal aka “temptation” for so long that I have a hard time getting aroused, even when it is from what I want most. The irony is that I spend a lot of time horny when no one is around. Happy to hear what anyone has to say. Thank you.

My feeling is to be kind to yourself - I’m confident it will come along. 10 years is a long time. Was the background to your celibacy based on religious belief or self discipline ? It can take time to release the sense of guilt or whatever motivated that 10 years …. but breathe and accept where you are at and take steps too move in the direction you now want - mojo, meditation, therapy whatever feels suitable and helpful to you.

Both religious belief and self discipline but mostly in the order of nature. Semen retention seems to be what all life forms do except us humans.

I’ve heard of that concept of semen retention before in religious context. Meant to provide additional energy and things isn’t it? Did you find that?

However it may also be unhelpful. I think humans are different from animals in so many ways that we would need to think carefully using that to justify our actions - most of the natural world don’t live in buildings and cook food with fire and so on ….our physiology is different too - so each needs to live in accordance with its nature. Humans can enjoy sex for pleasure and give birth all year round. I’ve heard humans described as horny apes … we probably can’t ultimately deny that aspect of our nature - there sure are enough of us population wise to evidence the point!

It’s ok. Take care.