My constant negative thought is “it’s happened before so it will happen again. Possibly every time from here on”
I’m not good enough. I am a disappointment and she will get tired of me and find someone who is a better lover.
I lost my erection while having sex and thought my girlfriend would see me as less of a man than her exes
If I can’t cum during sex then how will I ever be able to start a family.
I wasn’t able to get an erection immediately during when my girlfriend suggested sex, therefore I’m a failure
“Because it’s not hard now (or it’s gone soft) you probably won’t get hard at again tonight.”
Reprogramming it to,
"You don’t need to be hard yet, pleasure her in other way,. You will get an erection when you need it as most of the time during sex you do, stop being irrational.
No one will stay with you very long if this keeps happening to: people aren’t with me for the sex specifically, it will happen.
I will stop thinking that I won’t be able to get a erection
Catastrophizing a time when it didn’t work. It’s 1 of many times it did.
She’s expecting me to get hard, but nothings happening, I’ve failed
I feel like a failure because I can’t get or keep it hard to have penetrative sex.
I’ll never be able to achieve an orgasm from a partner or penetrative sex, because I never have before (an example of black and white, catastrophizing and fortune telling)
“My partner is going to be really disappointed because I lost my erection during foreplay.”
Evidence against: I don’t have evidence she was too disappointed
Reprogram: she can still have a great time with other activities that aren’t penetrative and the erection can return later
When the moment comes I’ll be too nervous — which isn’t true
To think that … I can not have sex or become father … for the rest of my life … because I can not keep it hard
Will I ever be able to have sex again?
Because its been going on for so long, I feel like every time I try its a let down. I havent been able to perform in so long that I’m not sure I can do it and my partner is dissatisfied and fed up with it. This is not necessarily true, although I know she isn’t happy, but at the beginning of out relationship I was able to perform often so there’s no reason that I can’t get that vigor back
I’m so stressed I hate sex, I can’t stay hard so I can’t make her happy
All or nothing
Facts
She’s never told me she wasn’t happy with our sex life
She’s never been distant after we do the deed
I can’t have a healthy sex life
Fact I can I just need time and the right partner
The last partner did in fact leave me and told me she wasn’t sexually attracted to me . I don’t know why anyone would be so blatant as this didn’t show any care towards my feelings.
I wasn’t able to immediate get hard despite her attempts, my penis actually got smaller, and nothing was working.
Fact: we just kept going, she never showed any disinterest, and after a few minutes I did get an erection and was able to finish.