I guess I’m not after input, more putting this out there so that it is out there.
My last relationship was awful. It was physical and emotionally abusive. I was cheated on repeatedly and often made to feel like the cause. I am a sensitive and emotional guy and I own that. I should state that my new partner is incredible. So supportive and understanding. I struggle to maintain erections despite finding her really attractive. I think this is a pressure thing that comes from the previously mentioned relationship. That if I don’t step up then I’ll be in that position again. I just feel so guilty as I don’t want her to ever think she is the problem but I also know that naturally that’s what you would think in her position.
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Women are smart. If you are open about the past relationship and abuse she should be able to sympathize. Especially if you do get an erection around her sometimes than she should know that it’s not anything to do with her attractiveness. Just be giving with your tongue and fingers or whatever it is that she likes and ask her to help you with your healing. Good luck my man and sorry your ex was horrible! People cheating is their own fault and not their partners. Not your fault.
I’m sorry man about the last relationship and glad you got out. I recently ended things with an abusive partner as well. What you are feeling from the previous relationship may be impacting you in the current one, but I would try not to let it get to you. I am trying to do that right now which is why I mention it. Although I don’t have a new partner yet and don’t honestly want one yet.
Lean into this support group and maybe even try meditation to clear your mind and focus on the good and pleasurable feelings again to keep those erections going.
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Sorry to hear about your last relationship being so shitty. My first real girlfriend cheated on me with a friend, and a couple other people, and I remember how terrible it felt when I found out. I think because she was such a sexual person that I have felt like any really sexual women will also cheat, and feel tremendous pressure to keep them satisfied and be the best in bed or they will cheat on me, even though I have lots of evidence that that’s not true (nobody else have ever cheated, and I’m 36).
I’m in a new relationship with an awesome woman who’s very sexual as well, and I can feel the pressure. She’s so honest and kind, but I still feel it even though she’s not the cheating type.
Unfortunately it’s been compounded by a little joke she made to lighten the mood when I lost my erection one time. She said she was trying to show me it didn’t matter, but it really got to me. We’ve talked about it a bunch and I know she carries a lot of guilt about it and feels responsible for any issues I have. I’m usually fine but do get in my head sometimes and get really frustrated and have a tough time not resenting her at times too. Overall we’re really strong and I’m having an easier time getting and staying hard. Not sure why I’m writing all this since it’s not totally relevant to your story but just wanted you to know you’re not the only one who got fucked up by an ex, and to remind you women don’t judge us like we think they do. They just want us to feel good.
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I hear you brother. I got out of my marriage, too. She was abusive cheating, manipulating, and made it seem like it was my fault. Her behaviour was humiliating to me and rocked my confidence. Ever since I’ve had a lot of trouble.
I’m lucky that I found an amazing and supportive girl that adores me. I’ve had trouble getting and maintaining erections how I want with her but we’ve always found other ways to satisfy each other. I can give her great orgasms with my hands and oral so she is happy. She can make me come with blowjobs but I usually won’t stay really hard the whole time.
I want to get my confidence back so I can stay hard enough to screw her for longer. This app has helped. I’ve noticed waking up with morning wood a lot more and stronger. And the other day I was able to focus on the feeling enough to have sex and cum inside her. Fuck ya!
A big thing for me is managing stress and being able to relax. But progress!