Hey - I have psychological ED and pretty major sexual performance anxiety. With my ex, I couldn’t get hard the first few times we tried to have sex. Once I was comfortable and we found what worked (once I’m hard, putting it in immediately, etc.), we have unbelievable sex and I had no issues getting hard. Because of my psychological ED and sexual performance anxiety, I can’t get hard when it comes to casual hookups. I can get hard if we’re only doing oral/other stuff, but if I know we’re going to have sex/we decide to have sex, I go soft.
I’ve signed up for Mojo, but as I’m going through the lessons, I’m finding that every single one is just breathing exercises, rather than advice. Am I missing something here and do you have any advice for my situation please?
Yeah stop watching porn. And stop jerking
1 Like
If you play solo and use porn I suggest you stop. For a couple weeks to a month. You’ll see things differently. I stopped and I’ve caved a few times. I have an unhealthy relationship with porn and I’m way too used to my own grip… Same as you, I lose it when it’s time to enter…
Ive used those breathing exercises during sex- at time of entry, I lost it. Then I started to panic as usual.
Took a step back- started breathing box breaths and just rubbed myself on her pussy. She really liked it and responded well. I was able to make her cum again by rubbing her clit with my dick. That, along with me stroking on her was enough to get me hard enough to get in. I went slow. As she responded to the slow fucking, it got me harder. We did that for 5-10 minutes and she ended up cumming 1 more time. I was never rock hard, but hard enough to be in her for 5-10 min and make her cum a couple times. I consider that a win!
The other thing that has helped me tremendously is being open and honest with her about ED and what I like.
I get super turned on when she tells me what she wants or needs. The next morning I was rubbing her as she lay there, I started to finger her, she asked me to finger her as she used her toy. That got me a pretty good semi. Once she finished, she started on a handy. Right in the middle she told me she wanted me to finish myself while she watched and encouraged me along with other wants….