Hi guys,
I’ve had issues with premature ejaculation since I became sexually active at 18. Growing up I was raised in a religious household where sex was seen as taboo so i inadvertently taught myself to masturbate and finish within seconds! I didn’t realise the long term harm it was doing and now at 25 with a girlfriend of 2 years i still have the same issues. I went on SSRIs for a year which helped initially but when i got off them it came back but with erection issues to add. Im at a loss as to what to do. From my initial premature ejaculation issue I now have problems getting it up.
I believe my issue is physiological as its logical to assume my masturbation technique growing up caused the initial problem but how to do I reverse it? I really need help to fix this. I cant go my whole life with sexual issues. My girlfriend is understanding but i feel less of a man in myself.
In any sexual encounter I’m worried about ejaculating too soon. Any tips/advice would be greatly appreciated.
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You are relatively young so should be able to masturbate right before you get with your partner. That way maybe you won’t cum so fast. Also, try to clear your head and just enjoy the foreplay. Expel all feelings of guilt you have from growing up. That was Then, but Now you know Better. Sex is Good & Healthy ‘
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I had this issue come up sporadically in my sex life. Ironically, my larger issue has been getting and maintaining erections, but often when things would “work,” I would just end up cumming too fast. It was embarrassing, though I will say, each of the girls it occurred with was super cool and definitely down more rounds.
I guess I’d ask- what does your partner say about this whole thing? You say it makes you feel like less of a man (I 100% live with that feeling) but I would say what helps me in my relationships is asking my partners how they feel about the sex, alternative ways I can please them if I can’t get it up or otherwise cum too quick. This takes the pressure off the whole thing.
I’d also point out that the majority of women either only, or otherwise strongly prefer, clitoral orgasms, so there’s a strong chance your partner already feels she’s not missing out on much by having you inside her for a shorter period of time.
And FWIW, I wish I could cum in minutes! I’ve had beautiful gfs ask me to finish quicker bc they cum in minutes and just want the whole thing to be done with as soon as possible thereafter (some women can have multiple orgasms, most women zero to one). So I would say the gap between where you want to be (I don’t know, 10 minutes,?) and where you are is probably really small, if there’s any gap at all (talk to your partner!)