Posting on here as feeling extremely down in the dumps and never have anyone to talk to about this.
Ever since the first time I tried to have sex over 10 years ago (31 now) I’ve been having issues with libido and getting it up. I also never even really felt very horny going through puberty and always wondered if there was something wrong with me. But I figured I just hadn’t met “the one” yet and that it would all be fine once I got really comfortable with someone. But 8 years ago I met someone I truly love to this day, and everything else is perfect but ED and my libido are still big issues and always have been. She’s been very understanding as she’s still here after 8 years of an almost non existent sex life and we’re so happy together otherwise that we’re now planning on getting married next year. However she’s desperately still waiting for me to fix my issues and we both agree we can’t get married if it’s still this bad. The problem is, I’ve tried every single fix in the book over the years and nothing’s changed. I still get insanely nervous every single time it seems like we might be getting intimate and therefore fail to even get get started. Over the years, we’ve tried every other sexual non penetrative act or technique there is but after 8 years it’s understandable becoming extremely frustrating for the both of us, to the point where we actively avoid trying to have sex now until we feel like so much time has passed that we have to. Sex should be something amazing (I hear) so the fact that this is where we’ve been for all these years is very very depressing. About 2 years ago I thought I finally hit gold after finding out that my Testosterone levels were slightly low, so started TRT. But after 2 years and now having proved hormone values that should be “ok” I’m still struggling. Not physically though when on my own- which should be mentioned. But to make it as “easy” as possible I’ve also been taking 2.5g of Tadalafil per day and even stronger Sildenafil tablets on an ad-hoc basis for a while now. Still the same unless… I’ve been drinking. But think it would about time I was able to have sex without alcohol. Over the years we’ve also tried couples therapy, individual therapy (I’ve had 4 different types of therapy to treat my anxiety), sensate and every other trick on Mojo. But I’m still anxious af all the time. What makes how I feel even worse is it seems every other person with similar issues (on Mojo,Reddit etc) has had them for a much shorter time than me and/or not tried nearly as many things to fix it as I have and/or only started having issues as they got older. Every other post on here I read just makes me feel lonelier and worse as I feel like I’m so much more f£&ked up than anyone else.
Sorry for the long rant just really needed to tell someone…