Performance anxiety - I think

Guys, I really could use a confidence boost. I should really start with setting aside the time to check in daily, but here we are. I dunno if it’s the hookup culture that is common in the gay community or something is screwy in my brain, but met up with a guy everything was going great until it wasn’t. Just out of the blue bam dead in the water. In keep replaying the night in my mind I dunno if something was done or said. I really have no idea what triggered this event. It’s really kind of humiliating. I know I shouldn’t feel that way cause it just feeds the cycle but damn it’s hard not too. I’d appreciate any pointers to help overcome this anxiety.


Is this something that has happened to you before, or was this the first time?

Name your inner critic. Don’t make it a name you hate. Just a super normal name like Pat. Learn to identify and tell Pat that they are wrong. Practice over and over with yourself - when you’re alone, practice letting Pat say all the mood killers they can. And keep refuting and getting it back up after Pat talks shit. Repeat.

I know you will want to beat it back in one day with one trick, but it takes practice. It is part of your spiritual practice. Use this trick with other Negstive Voices in your life and your inner Rational Voice becomes stronger.

Pair this with other practices and you can make a big difference pretty quickly.


Hey it happened to me this week as well. Ok, alcohol and the situation being a bit off (closeted) were to blame but hot guy and hot action with little to no reaction down there. I am going to talk to him, set boundaries and ask to go at my sexual pce for a change since he has no trouble. Communication seems key.

That happens to ally gay friends, they dont like to talk about it. But the more I share my issues, the more they do. What happened to you happens to most people. Just need to figure out what set you off on another path. Good luck.

I’ve been having this problem with one person in particular. He wants to be exclusive fwb but we’ve tried 3 times and I go soft every time. I took a break and fooled around with a few other guys successfully but now I’m scared to try with him again. Idk what the issue is, I’m attracted to him and it seems like e should be a good sexual fit and it feels good but I lose it every time and it’s so awkward and embarrassing. It’s literally the reason I got this app

Thinking back on my situation I think it’s cause he said his roommate was coming home. He said he was DL and I respect that but I think it just made me worry too much. Like you I have hooked up after and everything was great. It is so embarrassing which only makes the loop continue.