Overthinking making things worse?

First time poster, new member.

Never really had many issues in the past bar the odd performance related anxiety here or there.

With the last week, I’ve been majorly struggling to get an erection and sometimes give up its just not working. If I do get one, it’s normally ‘soft’ hard and that’s it.

I’ve spent most of the week thinking about it, and spending a lot of the day trying to get erection.

How do you guys get out of your head? I think I’m making the situation worse by trying to get hard and thinking about not doing it at the same time.

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Hi there fam :slight_smile:

First of all relax buddy. You’re not in this alone and I’ve been exactly thorugh the same what you are describing here. The fact that you spent most of the week thinking about it is enough to take a step back. I think you are having an anxiety, and I’ve had this for about a month and none of these thoughts were helpful to me.

I was trying to prove to my self that I’m ok and healthy and that I can have a hard errection like I was used to. But putting that much pressure on myself and being in my head while doing so was only making things worse.

What I think is really helpful, then you try not to think about it. When it comes up to your mind and trust me it will, you just have to say to yourself I’ve been through these thoughts and it is not helpful, and try to focus on breathing or something mindful.

Take your time. Go through the mojo course, and meditate each day. You can meditate and your own and as an extra, you can also use mojo-guided meditations. I really recommend those for confidence in bed. Those were really helpful to me.

You might not notice the change really quickly but I really think that each week you will feel much better.

It’s a process, be kind to yourself and know that it will get better. Trust me.

Good luck and try to have fun on your journey.


What is your overall health like? What are your habits? Is there anything you are doing that could be contributing?

I can relate the rabbit hole you’re in. So I think I’m a lot older than most guys here being 40, but seeing this issue affecting those half my age has been illuminating. I’m gay, and I’ve had literally 100’s of partners never with any issues getting hard, then I had one bad hookup that I wasn’t really that into, and from that one bad encounter I went down a rabbit hole of despair. At one point I found that I was failing half the time or more. I started hooking up just to prove to myself that I can get hard, and shocker, I couldn’t— not even with a fist full of dick pills that I know I don’t really need. I think this forum will help to zero in on those psychological causes of erectile dysfunction. As it stands right now, I can only get hard for sex being completely drunk, which isn’t a long term solution— currently that’s my way of silencing that inner critic. I’m looking forward to learning more here to get back to pleasurable sexual experiences.


Hi everyone i am 25 years old and got married at 21 … I never had any problem with getting hard … My problem is that … I get hard easily but cannot hold that erection … As soon as i am distracted a little… My penis gets soft… Like if i am having sex with my wife and i want to change the position … Sometimes it gets soft even with changing the position. … And some time its gets soft if we take a brake for turning the lights on or off … Or anything happens which changes my mind even a little just for a few second … And its gets hard back after some time or after i go to pee … .

And i got married again so i have 2 wives … With the second one when we start kissing or cuddling i get hard but the moment i want to get in … My penis gets soft … I don’t know why … And then we stop every thing i go to washroom and come back and after some time may be half an hour we start again and then i am good … Once i penetrate its good … But before penetration it feels like i wil loss it again … …

An other problem is that i am actually feeling that i am lossing sex appetite … As compared to before … I want less sex know … Which make me feel a little worried about my sex performance

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You are not alone… Probably that very week or during that period you had other related issues such as stressful work, engagements, relationship issues, fatigue etc and you weren’t on the mood. I have learned not to force sex when not in the mood as it causes conflict between body and mind. The mojo exercises here will help you much to get out of your head. All will be well.


So iv been stuggling for about 3 years and its got so bad i havent successfully masterbated for a year and a half and on the odd occasion i can finish its been soft hard with my wife.

Cialis and viagra both havent worked either, anyone else had this problem?

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First time posting on here .

Years of dealing with ED , I now understand why and what I need to do . I got a question for you guys tho …
does all these courses and exercises stress you out? I just started , but there is a lot going on and I feel I’m thinking about everything way to much , I’m jumping back and forth with courses and kinda overwhelmed… also my issues with ED , is It seems I have a arousal issue with my partner and troubles getting a erection, but It’s definitely not her , we do have sex quite a bit but it does not flow naturally like it should … it’s almost like I have a erection when we cannot have sex , but when the moment is right and we can maybe the anxiety just gets to me … I’m lost on what courses I should be dialing into ?

Hi I’m sorry this is really wired and it’s a bit uncomfortable saying this but I thought I would share so people can just calm me down I won’t have to worry.

Lately I haven’t been feeling myself erousal wise it kinda off started out as me questioning my sexuality though I thought but wasn’t sure I am still straight tho so I don’t think I was questioning it but anyway and a couple of days I have found that I haven’t been feeling as horny as I was a week ago (im17) and at the moment I think I may have ED cause I k ow it can happen in teens. Is this what’s causing me to not be as horny? Also I’ve been stressed out a lot and have a lot of anxiety and don’t go to bed till 12:30 every night so could this be what’s causing all this? I am still attracted to girls and women and still have sexual thoughts but don’t get very horny when thinking about it as I am having trouble getting an erection.
Pls can someone help me over come this so I can go back to normal.

Just don’t worry me :slight_smile:

I’ve been using Mojo for the past 3 months and I love it! I’ve been looking at Vitamin b complex and wondering if it could benefit me as well. Any thoughts? Thanks mark

Hey so I am in a very weird situation here. I have had a relationship for 4years from (2017-2021) and never had any issue with getting it up or keeping up my erection. I did have my break up back in 2021 and after that i have been single and carefree. Suddenly I come into a new relationship and I can’t get it up at times when I need it the most. I am getting a boner when we are on the road kissing and making out somewhere and not in the bedroom. It’s just a soft boner and I cum in that position and this has happened twice in the last 3 months. I feel like there’s this block that has been created in my head from the first time. I don’t know what to do

Had the exact same issue. I used the techniques in MOJO naturally. To help I found I would take time out in the day to pleasure myself but using only thoughts and when I got an erection I would then know in my mind it isn’t physical and it is in my head. I found the best technique was the mediation sessions and applying them in the moment. So one of the techniques is focusing on the sounds, feelings in parts of my body from touch, smells etc and it seemed to stop me thinking about not getting an erection at that moment. I did then start to ejaculate quick because it felt I needed to use it quickly and that became a new issue. So started not rushing to have penetrative sex when I got the erection but go with the foreplay longer and let the penetrative part naturally happen. Takes practice and the meditation sessions but it seemed to work. I’ve came back to the site becuse this issue is resurfacing after 1 event when I had too many drinks and now I’m getting panicky and back into my head.

I also used box to box breathing to calm myself and think positive thoughts, push out negative thoughts. I also noticed things would also resurface when stressed in life generally. So meditation and the breathing exercises helped too.

With you there bud. Last time I properly enjoyed sex was around 3 years ago and funnily enough it was right after I couldn’t stay full hard, then went again and think my nerves were fine and it was like it used to be.

Have tried Cialis and that other stuff but my mind seems to block that as well, all good until it’s time to rumble and then I go softer again. The times I can record my hardest erections is when I talk about it, so am hopeful-ish in doing more of that. Think it takes some of the pressure off, but yet to get a consistent success in erections and more of a short period of good erections then my mind returns to block again.

Mindfulness training is an amazing way to centre yourself in your body and quiet your thoughts

I believe overthinking has the power to do a lot of damage. Learning how to best navigate out of that space and into relaxation is something im hoping I can learn and apply.