Penis size performance anxiety

I have a lot of anxiety around my penis size when having sex, and leads to bad performance anxiety and sometimes ED, and overall a negative experience for me.
I’d say I’m average, maybe slightly below. I feel I am about 6 inches if I really thrust fully as deep as I can. I feel like if I get to a situation where I feel extremely calm, safe and horny, my erection feels and appears bigger and maybe at those times if I’m pushing with every bit of energy from my core and pelvic floor, I can feel like 7 inches. But mostly my erections aren’t that strong and it’s more like 5-6 inches.

All I can think about when having sec is that the girl has definitely experienced sex with bigger penis’s, so why would she enjoy having sex with me. Partners have never really expressed disappointment, but I feel it within myself. I also notice I struggle making a girl orgasm and I feel that it’s because my penis isn’t big enough. It overall is something that really leads to negative self talk and ruins my experiences. I’m trying to learn to believe that I can satisfy women but get overwhelmed with the negative thoughts and just wish my penis was even 1 inch bigger.
I also struggle with premature ejaculation and feel that a lot of that is due to my performance anxiety about my size.

Does anyone have this experience or have insight on ways to overcome this self loathing feeling about my size? I’m working on mojo to be in control of my ejaculation so I can feel stronger and more confidence .


Hey mate I’ve inboxes you let’s have a chat

This is exactly the same way I feel but I haven’t had sex before for real, just oral

I used to feel shame about the size of my penis too, I’d estimate I’m about the same size as you.
I’m a gay guy and I have come out since the time I felt that way. Plus I’m in my 50’s now so I’ve seen a lot of penises over the years.

Seeing a lot of penises has been the cure for any shame because let me assure you we are perfectly equivalent to most dicks out there. Sure there are some enormous units and there are some really small packages too. But most people are like us! It was the most liberating thing to make that realization. In fact, you and I are probably bigger than many guys!

While I can’t speak to what a woman wants in her man’s package, I CAN say with authority your brain is screwing you over with that negative self talk. Your dick is totally normal, perfect, and adequate. It’s like feeling ashamed because you’re convinced you only have one arm, when I fact you clearly have two. You gotta let that story go!

Good luck brother. You are worthy just the way you are!


I also struggled with this, but I think education makes a big difference. One thing to remember is that most women can’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone; clitoral stimulation and foreplay is much more important, and neither of those relate to the size of your dick (they’re more about your technique and positioning, both things you can actively work to improve!).

A resource I personally found quite helpful was calcSD - Penis Size Percentile Calculator; it aggregates a lot of studies about both global size averages and some research on women’s actual preferences. The long and short of it is that most women don’t actually want guys with giant dicks; there are always outliers, sure, and it’s possible the women you’ve been with haven’t been compatible with you on those grounds, but the vast majority actually prefer dicks in the 4-6 inch range, and even those who might like larger are generally satisfied with dicks in that range