Been married for 10years and recently we decided to try ethical non-monogamy but since we started having sex with other people my capacity to get hard was heavily impacted. now it takes me sometime to get hard and I can only maintain an erection and cum during blowjob. The moment I put a condom to start penetration is when I get into my head and it is hard to keep going. There is a lot I’m dealing with in terms of getting used to ENM and definitely it is what’s impacting me. Got selfsteem issues, keep comparing my self to my wife’s partners, I am hard on myself to have a good performance and be a good lover… Several things piling up that gets in my way. Anyone with similar experiences?
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Going through something similar
It’s the comparison the the people my partner is sleeping with that is the biggest struggle
I want to get over it so bad as it’s beginning to impact our relationship
I understand this fully and I don’t know how to stop this. My erections are much weaker since I’ve seen what else is out there. Comparing myself and being hard on myself as well. Is there any information on how to get over this issue?
You can’t compare yourself to your wife’s lovers. I’m not sure if you are hearing/seeing your wife with her other partners but you need to remember that you are looking at it through a third person lens. Your mindset is already negative and you have performance anxiety, even if you are the best lover in the world you’d still seem less than par in your own eyes. I suggest having a conversation with your wife and tell her how you feel. Focus on finding out why she loves you and what she loves about you. Do you have other partners? How do they feel about you?