Ive been with my current girlfriend for 8 years. The relationship wasnt the best but we were always sex positive. Sex was always a fun tug of war of emotions and pleasure. Id say roughly 9 months ago, we got into an argument and made up after but I slowly started developing crippling aniexty when it came to sex time. I’d be rock hard with very minimal roleplay but when it comes time to put on the condom and thinking about really doing the deed, I start to go soft and she sounds disappointed and it makes me feel awful
Same exact thing for me. When it comes time to put on the condom I lose my erection. It’s an awful feeling
You’re not alone mate. The exercises in this app aiming to help deal with anxiety and stopping yourself going into fight or flight are really helpful.
Number one thing to do first though, in my experience, is talk to your girlfriend. Be completely open with her and tell her exactly how you’re feeling, what you’re experiencing when it comes to sex, and help her understand what’s happening for you. But also, ask her to help you understand what she’s experiencing when it happens, because it’ll be effecting her too, in a different way.
Talking to my wife and really opening up to her about it all, and understanding what sure was feeling and experiencing, has been really powerful in helping me overcome my performance anxiety.
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