Ok so I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years. Sex has always been regular until recently. I kept having problems with losing my erection. She says it’s fine and doesn’t really need sex, but the thing is I do! So we have talked a lot and decided to just give sex a break for now. Only thing is I can’t stop thinking about how or when we restart. What is the correct timeframe. Pretty much everyday I think about making love to her but then get scared and anxious due to my recent erection issues. What’s the best way I can deal with getting back on the horse? I’m even thing about the blue pill. Or should I just try not to worry and hopefully the time will arrive naturally. Using the app is great but what it is doing is completely reminding me that I have a problem! Any help appreciated
Hey mate, firstly the blue pill may help on paper but it won’t cure the anxiety killing your erection. I know this as I’ve had a similar experience recently where the last month my secual confidence nose dived and I couldn’t get one up at all. My advice would be this. Don’t plan it too much. And id actually recommend doing the opposite of what your doing right now because it’s building it up in your “head”. It’s almost pedestalizing the event which will hurt your erection. Be totally exposed with her and say “look I’m anxious about sex because X,Y and Z” if she loves you she will listen. You need to find time to be completely exposed in front of her to get sexual. Be so open and honest and have her “accept your flaccid penis”. I found in my case I had waited too long and wasn’t comfortable with her seeing my soft. Id hide it even if we were naked in bed and just talking. I found with my partner when she “accepted my willy” it grew. She took the initiative and after I had spent the best part of 30 mins explaining my thoughts and new anxiety she began to literally speak to my penis. Separating it from my brain. Her being so calm and nurturing and accepting caused me to relax and low and behold “an erection was born”. In other where I have had this problem and you hit the anxiety wall do something different. Cook her dinner, watch a YouTube video together whatever, do it naked, once your brain starts leaving the “I need to get it up” thought pattern it will end up growing again.