Numb: low libido/penis sensitivity - physical or psychological?

Tl;dr : I have low desire even to masturbate by myself, it almost feels like a chore/test to see if I experience pleasure and can get hard, and have little sensation. How do I get more pleasure from sex? How do I make this more enjoyable?

Context: I’m 30, athletic and healthy. I started losing my hair so I got finasteride/minoxidil but it nuked my libido/erections so I stopped, went online and saw people saying it had permanent side effects. I freaked out and after this I had trouble with erections. I tested my hormone levels and such, and it was lower right after both but got back to normal over time, so biomarkers are ok but I kept having this lingering thought that maybe it was still physical and it broke something in me? After that though, I have had sex when in vacation when I was hard and it was somewhat enjoyable, or sexting and sending nudes and being hard. So in safe scenarios, when I’m relaxed, it seems to be fine. But for some reason, I don’t feel the urge to masturbate, I don’t have libido spikes and want to jerk off… I recently met a girl who’s really cool, was honest with her about the situation, and right before putting on the condom I would go soft (though handjob, blow job, was fine) so we tried without. I stayed hard but maybe 70-75% hard not a full-on 100% iron cock. And the sensation of being inside her was not super intense. It was like being a bit numb.

Has any of you guys experiences this? Is it that I think so much about it that it even affects the sensation (low desire to masturbate, little sensation when penetration)? I have checked my physicals several times and every time it goes back normal (though again part of me thinks oh maybe it’s something they didn’t monitor or a specific thing they didn’t think of checking or I’m in the range but I should be in the upper range to feel it). I have tried the app, it seems to help a bit. I checked with a sex therapist once for a few sessions but that was mostly “don’t stress/be with someone you like to feel secure”. Maybe I’ll try someone else.

Any thoughts welcome, thanks guys.


Just wanted to say you are not alone, I am also going through this

I experience the same, and I think it really is all in our heads. Sometimes, I can still have really good enjoyable sex when I feel relaxed and out of my mind… our thoughts are powerful, so if you get into this idea that minoxidil affects you, then it’ll probably be true… it’s self sabotaging.

Your post is so completely accurate - I had to check if I had written this. Like for like. For me this feeling is like being 17 again and frightened of sex. I also got scared by the Finasteride and minoxidil research I had done and quit it. The placebo effect is strong!