I had ED issues during my single life at uni which I believe to be due to setting high expectations and standards for myself and then in turn pressure. I somewhat overcame that after many failed attempts. I am now back with my girlfriend who I was with for years before uni and have been seeing here and there on and off during. This has never been an issue with her only other girls where the pressure to perform felt higher. However it happened recently with her and since that time it’s happened again another 5ish times (but not every time). It’s because I get into my own head sometimes even subconsciously about the fact that I need to stay hard and perform for her and then as soon as that happens it’s like a balloon deflating. I’m a big overthinker which makes sense in this situation I guess but I’m only 20 and the thought of it continuing scares me and only makes the thoughts leading to my dick going soft more present in my mind. And I guess the worst thing about this all is how it makes me feel and that every time it happens it’s like a big chunk of my confidence and self worth just gets shattered. It just feels like this isn’t like me I’m normally such a confident guy and I did well with the girls during single life but I feel like I’m losing my own self confidence and ego sexually and I’m scared man. Anyone got any advice?
I’m closer to 40 and feel the same. It’s more about delivering pleasure than experiencing it for myself. My mind starts to wander and I try to distract myself but my inner critic is loud. Getting out of my head is the goal here.