No sensation, no erection

I’ve been here on his app for 2/3 months now but with breaks and I decided to tell my story
I came here because my sex life has been a mess since I know myself. It was always the same problem, getting hard.
I don’t mean only at sex but even jerking off. Yes meditation and Mojo helped me to an extent but there are things that I still question.
My heart would go crazy every time some sexual process is initiated with another person and an erection is almost impossible.
When I want to jerk off I would just shut down, my mind would go completely blank, no feeling in my penis and in general whatsoever sensation in my body
This goes with a partner too, I could be kisses: lips, neck, body, but wouldn’t react in any way. Does it feel good? Yes. Does it do something to me? No, no body reaction.
I read this could be about the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system but I still have fought about me and my body
If any of you guys have an advice or been through something similar please help me out


Have you had a go at the mojo sensate exercises - these aim to increase awareness of sensation in your body and body comfort - non sexual to start with and then expanding.

Is there anything in your past perhaps that could cause your body to shut down - anything from bad sexual experiences, a strict upbringing with guilt around sex , violence or abuse? Just thinking these sorts of things can trigger body shut downs and you may need support to work through them if so.

My thing is is I want to have sex like I used to but now every time I talk about it with my partner or send her pics or she’s sends me something it sends my body into shock and I start shaking uncontrollably and I try to breathe but it doesn’t work and it just makes it impossible to get hard

Hey that’s tough to experience. Yeah no way an erection is going to happen when the body is in flight mode (which is what it sounds like) - and that’s the body doing the right thing at some level - survival over sex.

Question perhaps is getting in touch with what may trigger this response to sexual things in the body now if you have not had this in the past ( you say sex like you used to have) did it start to happen after some event or someone saying something to you that comes back to you repeatedly ? Knowing what is behind the response or what had changed when you first experienced this may help you to begin to take steps to manage it and hopefully reduce its impact on you.

The mojo app also has resources such as recorded therapy sessions. Have you explored those - there’s one on performance anxiety that I’ve found good. You need to listen to more than just the first episode though.

I have much the same - Sex since my first time at 16 with a professional was an anxiety provoking (the human involved) yet also non-arousing (I was raised without shame or taboos) exercise.

This I now suspect gave me two factors - a) no kink or fetish like feelings around sex it was an activity like any other so that limited “excitement” someone with say more traditional feelings of specialness around sexual would feel - say forbidden excitement around dirtyness /shame or arousal . b) I neither much liked trusted or relaxed around people which gave me anxiety in a safety context .

That gave me a sort of experience less amusing than solo sex - with a person triggering anxiety. I worked around that since early 20s with pills. I became very good at this so people leaving or unhappy was never an issue quite the opposite so I’m now bored and never addressed my issues at late 40s - hoping to work on pleasing MYSELF : having performed this exclusively for others for most of my existence.

What do YOU want ?
What are YOUR needs ?
What do you NOT want ?
you could start with those .

I had low back surgery about 20 yrs ago and started to notice ED symptoms almost immediately, which is a common side effect of the surgery (not all experience it). It got to the point where I had no sensation while trying to masturbate. When I started doing was using a penis pump to pump both penis and testicles together, then wear a cock ring, and it really enhances the sensitivity.

I’ve worked on this with mojo exercises and I am far more relaxed now than I was originally. I had everything you were saying - my body would freeze, I’d shiver, shake uncontrollably, and my heart would race (like running a sprint race).

That alone was very annoying and a turn off for my wife. Had started doing that about a year ago, I’m guessing when I was becoming more and more anxious about sex. Was excited, but anxious.

Hard to say what specifically has helped. Maybe it was failing enough times with performance anxiety now that I’ve seen the worst…. And what is the worst that could happen? We try to have sex, and it doesn’t work? That she’s disappointed? Or mad? Maybe even angry? We’ve been there, and she’s felt all of those things. Ok, life goes on. She still loves me.

I think much of that worry has gone away now that I’m like “f it, it couldn’t be any worse” and no new experience is going to be lower than what we’ve already been through.

I don’t shake anymore. Sometimes my heart races when I move in close, but even that I can settle by just breathing slower and matching her breath one for one.

Still working on erections and comfort in the moment, but the general body reaction is much better now. Hope this helps, hang in there.

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