Hello all, new to the app. I’m at the point where my ED issues are a detriment to my relationship and mental health. I’m 29, been with my wife for 8 years now. When we have sex, it’s always been incredible. The last couple years I’ve been having psychological ED, now more often than not. Started Cialis once in awhile which helped with confidence for a bit, but the anxiety crept back in. I’ve struggled with porn since high school and I know that’s part of it. I’ve been trying to stop for years now. Lately, when we try to have sex, I feel a near panic attack. Heart rate goes up, get cold, shaky, and clammy. I can have a raging erection all day and just thinking I’m about to have sex turns it off like a switch. Wife is supportive but I can tell it’s taxing on her as well. Hopefully the app can help. Any advice is appreciated.
Man go Explore - Balancing Porn Use… it may help
I think app will help you but will not be fast fix, i am 40 years old and married 5 years. Till now did never have any problem but my head did kill make it so that i am afraid to have sex. To be more precise when i start i think “will i satisfy my wife” “will it go down” and then ofc nothing - that put more stress on you.
So my suggestion is first talk with your wife - this os normal and happen to everyone at some point. Next limit porn use lets say 1 a week or replace porn with audio (but again limited), next is daily meditation,box breathing will help alot. Lastly but not unimportant exircise - kegel an pelvic flor.
Dont lose hope for everyone is different maibe other exercise may help you more
How frequently do you masturbate? You do mention trying to get a grasp of your porn viewing. Honestly, dry and firm hand grip is the bane of my (erection’s) existence, as it is exactly what my penis is used to and wants but quite different to what a partner’s hand grip can offer let alone their vagina having a completely different sensation to this. I’ve been experimenting with masturbating much less, dealing with stress other ways than watching porn (which has been a comfort in such moments), and actually exploring more soft touch in resensitizing my penis and body in general to sensory input of all kinds. For example, I acquired a sex toy for men (you can guess basically what it is, which is what I’m using along with copious amounts of lube most of the times I choose to masturbate now, and I’ve been enjoying the experience more and more from a sensual and sensory perspective, becoming more sensitive to touch in general, so much so that I am better able to tune into sensations during partnered sex more and more. I’ve been finding the tools offered by the Mojo app as tremendously valuable. Also acceptance that erections* simply fluctuate in the degree of their firmness, that this is normal, and so not to focus on noticing yourself going softer relatively speaking compared to a moment ago which can trigger a softer oenis with no chance of return, rather to treat this as a normal occurrence in getting slightly soft and then kissing or switching activity and getting harder again and proceeding because fluctuation truly is normal, that we have unreal body-image issues when comparing to porn performers who seemingly have never ending erections* that are the firmest* from beginning to end with apparently no fluctuations in firmness whatsoever. What functions to our detriment is the negative internal dialogue when we may notice and focus on a slight going soft in the course of the sexual activities with your partner.
Also, interesting you point out you can have an erection all day, but the moment you know sex will take place you lose the erection in anticipation out of anxiety. That is unfortunate. Ideally, we get harder in anticipation of knowing we’re going to have sex later. Find out what’s at the root of your anxiety that kills your boner* in anticipation of partnered sex. Could there be fear of expectations from your partner? Could there be overall conflict in the relationship that needs to be dealt with and bearing a heavy weight on your mind. Are you feeling disappointment from your partner regarding sex or perhaps in other things in the relationship? Are you psyching yourself out worrying you’ll lose it? All these things have huge implications, I’m finding …