Lost Ability to stay hard with wife

🍆 Erection issues
1

So I’ve always had some issues with not staying hard with a partner and difficulties not being able to ejaculate due in part to antidepressant meds.

Recently is has become much worse, not being able to get erections at all during sex, but able to masturbate fine - usually with porn,but have recently done it with the audio on here also just with fantasy. I do feel that there is a loss of intimacy in our relationship and sex is like going through the motions. There is a loss of confidence on my wifes side with body image issues and limits what she is comfortable doing. This loss of confidence on her end is also a decrease in attraction on my end. We want another baby and that is extra pressure as we are getting older. My wife tries to be supportive but I don’t feel it. I know she is frustrated and gets defensive when I try to talk about anything.

I’ve been practicing with this app - trying to stay calm and in thr moment, but and we tried again last night and it was still a no go on my end. I feel like it was hard to use calming in the moment. Lots of frustration and anxiety. Can only say “there’s always next time” for so long. There is an urgency with wanting a pregnancy. I’m fairly certain it’s psychological but may need to use pills for the short term. I’m feeling depressed and anxious about this. It’s not good.

Sorry for the long ramble. Needed to get it out

5 Likes
2

That sounds like a lot of pressure! I would struggle in that situation too.

3

Ah man I’m sorry to read this - there seems to be a lot going on here for you and your wife. I have had similar issues. I would really recommend talking to a therapist initially by yourself so that you can be heard and start to unpack things. The anti-d are a big factor I’m sure here. There’s a lot of pressure on you both! If you can try to be kind to yourself and work out what the next tiny steps are … I wish you all the best man and am happy to chat

4

Sorry man, sounds tough. I was struggling with my wife as well.

What has worked for me is:

  1. Stay consistent to the app (22 days streak).
  2. Chat openly to my wife about it. For example I tell her about the excercises I get in the app.
  3. Do kegels and reverse kegels daily.

Hope it helps. And keep it up. Lots of us have been there, and there are different ways to get out of there.

1 Like