30 year old guy, had my first sexual experience at 20. Didn’t manage to get hard and have never been able to get hard since with a partner. Not sure what the reason is as no matter how relaxed or eager that I feel nothing ever seems to happen.
At a loss of what to do. The app’s exercises are helpful but worried that it won’t work. I’ve been to the doctors before and despite trying pills (they didn’t work) and getting a blood test (nothing unusual reported) nothing’s changed.
My dick just never seem’s to cooperate and i struggle to get turned on. My whole body just seem’s to go numb when sex is about to happen. In the meantime like a lot of guy’s i’ve pretty much been reduced to using porn and masturbation as my only sexual release. But again despite long periods of avoiding both nothing seem’s to change.
Wondering if anyone has any advice? I’m at a loss.
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Just to clarify, you have no issue getting hard when masturbating? Do you get morning wood? It sounds like its in your head which means what you are doing will help if you let it.
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It’s really a death spiral after it happens the first time. You are in peak physical health at 20 and when you can’t get hard - it’s confusing for you and your partner. I get it - I’m a 30 something and my journey has been similar. Lose a partner because of that and watch excessive porn and masterbate. I find that it is truly a mistake to use porn and masterbate (less so).
Because in your head, when you hookup with a girl or guy, you imagine it to go a certain way…meet, kiss, oral sex, and then penetration…in real world relationships it hardly works like that.
I mean sure there are guys that can get hard in a moment for anything but people suffering from psychological ED are not those people.
I would suggest you focus on yourself, stay away from the porn, masterbate less, go to the gym, meet a new partner and be open with them.
For me, what got me over the hump was I was so nervous the first time with my new partner after the destruction of the previous relationship where we had met up for a fun weekend together and I was not able to get hard even once after the first time we tried sex and immediately I couldn’t keep it hard. That was just frustrating and confusing as I had liked this girl for many years and imagined a life with her.
Speaking with others also helps like on here.
- Be open with your partner, if it’s a long-term thing.
- Tell them it has been a problem before and if/when it does happen, it is not their fault and it is not because you are NOT attracted to her but a psychological barrier that you are trying to get over.
- If they really like you, they will work with you and be accommodating, exploring what excites you and different types of foreplay and things. Once they know this, they will work around it and slowly the psychological blocks will come down and you will enjoy a healthy sexual relationship. Mojo.so has been part of my journey where doctors and psychologists did nothing to help me.
I wish you luck in your journey.
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I can get hard through stroking and manual stimulation when masturbating but i rarely get morning wood
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I
agree!!
My marriage went down in flames.
New gf 4 months ago. I was open and honest with her. She loves my oral and fingering. Ive even used her toy on her plus bought a new one. I realized I watched too much porn and solo play.
Working on that, working the app and having a very understanding and encouraging gf are making a difference for me.
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I’m with a long term partner now and he is really understanding and loving. Outside of sex we have a really really strong bond and connection.
He’s far more sexually confident than me, and does do what he can to make me feel good even if most of our sex is satisfying him. Which I do enjoy, I just wish my body was as enthusiastic.
I’m sticking with Mojo and hoping it works. Plus i’ve pretty much entirely cut out masturbation and porn. I know it’s going to take time but just hoping that this isn’t going to fail like other things have.