I usually do okay with staying hard during sexual activities while I’m getting stimulation but it seems like as soon as I switch to do something to my partner then I get soft and it’s not like I don’t enjoy doing it, but as soon as I start feeling myself get soft then it starts the whole cycle. It makes me feel like I have to rush things and have constant stimulation during sex. I actually really enjoy doing other things, I just can’t stay hard the whole time.
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I have the same problem, even though I made all the exercises, but I still got a moments and periods where the inner critic is sabotaging me. And yeah it’s like I lose interest when I switch to the partner
Same fellas…I think part of it is this hyper focus on making sure they feel pleasured. I think if we focus on the pleasure we receive by pleasuring them we should be able to combat that pesky fight or flight response
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I also don’t think it’s that strange to lose the erection a bit. So don’t be to hard on yourself (pun intended).
You are not getting stimulation when you are going down on them. And yeah it’s super fun and enjoyable, but it’s a different kind of stimulation. Like more mental I suppose. And than the whole uncertainty cycle begins, and you get softer cause your are thinking about getting softer.
So just try to change your thinking. Just enjoy the moment, wants your breathing, think about the soft penis pleasuring, it’s OKE to be soft. You can still please her, she can still please you. If you are both having fun, she shouldn care if it’s soft.
So try to get out of your head and back into your body. Think about what you practice with sensate. Focus on sensations, about the feeling of touch etc.
Hope it helps and good luck my fellow troubles broskies! I’m hopeful by to apply the same lessons sometimes soon haha. (Cause it’s easier said than done, I am aware of that)
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