Need some help with performance anxiety

šŸ’­ Mental health
1

Hi,
Iā€™ve made a post here before and I got some incredible help. I posted this on another app and got really berated on it..but I need some help.

So Iā€™m 21, Iā€™ve always been rejected in romance by peers and others, nothing serious..a few days ago I ended a ā€œfriend zoneā€ relationship I had online because she would never show interest in things that made me. Me. It was kind of a catfish, and a few other things. And it was hard..really hard..so when I ended it I started working on myself and Iā€™m already seeing a increase in my physical side which is greatā€¦BUTā€¦

Iā€™ve never been with a woman before..Iā€™ve wanted to be a loving partner and a dad..so bad..so fucking badā€¦ and this vein of doubt creeped in..saying that Iā€™ll never get it up with a woman. Iā€™ll never be able to be reliable..and Iā€™m scaredā€¦

Iā€™ve met with doctors and lifestyle advice people and taken depression meds..nothing.. so Iā€™m at a loss.

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So im the end of your story im 55 and things have started to dip off but ive found this app so helpful in the way it almost drums it into that you can be ok ,things have definitely improved for me by just sticking to it , i know when i was young performance anxiety was huge sometimes it wouldnā€™t work and othertimes it would go off on its own it had a total mind of its own , when you find the right person communicate your concerns before hand take it slow become relaxed and comfortable with other and im pretty sure you will be fine just dont put pressure on yourself to be perfect straight away nobody was believe me ,good luck

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21 is not an extremely high age for loosing your virginity nowadays, so dont worry. The thing is, you dont even know whether you will get it up when you finally have a partner. The hormones that are at play early on in a relationship are insane, you will feel totally different. Just try it out and when it does fail, I guarantee you that it will work eventually. My advice is to get in there as soon as possible, get yourself a proper dating app (not one for hookups) and start dating. If you get rejected, and you probably will, its hard, but you have to learn to move on.

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I didnā€™t lose my virginity until I was almost 26! Been married and divorced since then and with a great girl now.

Plenty of time bud. Donā€™t put undue pressure on yourself.

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