Let me tell you a story. My ex was increasingly demanding, lacked empathy, was consistently negative about the world around her and that bled into our relationship quite often. Thinking about it now it’s a wonder how I lasted this long. We would talk about feelings and be open and honest, but whenever I expressed doubt, concern or vulnerabilities about who she communicates with and how she treats me I would be called insecure and to be a man. Even in the bedroom instead of building me up it often turned to why can’t you do this or this isn’t working for me. And boner lost. Thank you very much. All the problems in the relationship seemed to always be my fault and whenever I seemed to communicate I was seemingly in a “mood” as she would call it many times. I was made to feel inadequate, she would say I didn’t want her, and would find fault with many things that I tried to do. Sex wasn’t natural anymore and was increasingly forced. Communications were increasingly heated. There was always an ever present male friend that would she would always talk about. Even on our many vacations he was ever present on her phone and checking in. Meeting my family in NY last month she seemed to retreat often, get tired, take naps, and lean on him for support. I didn’t want to notice these things on her phone, but I would roll over in bed in the morning and there she would be texting him. I saw a text exchange by accident when we were in the cab that she needed to get out of the house we were in(my brothers) and he didn’t blame her for wanting out. Last weekend she joked that he sent her a bus schedule to the next town over because she told him she was upset about our recent spat. He happened to be in the next town over that weekend btw. I mean what the hell. That’s not normal and something that a person would do in a healthy relationship right?! That made me feel so small. She didn’t get any of this is bad behavior seemingly. It’s no wonder I feel like poo half the time and couldn’t sleep well and had problems getting it up after a while.
I ended things last week and we have been with out any form of communication since. At this point I don’t think we will ever talk again. I guess my reason for telling this story is for someone to recognize that if this sounds familiar to anyone else to get and don’t put up with it and have the strength to move on from someone who treats you this way. It will take time to heal from this
Anyone else have a similar situation happen to them?