My partnerās old boyfriend was back in town. He asked us to pop to his hotel for a drink. With everything going on at home (ED problems and extended family problems) I suggested she go alone and have an evening away. We joked a bit about her old flame.
Late in the evening I text to say she should consider staying over. She got home around 8am.
Iām not suggesting it was a āgameā without consequences, but it was great fun and the ED disappeared for a couple of days.
Why do you think the ED disappeared because of this? What was the psychological impact for you?
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I guess I just felt excited. She was enjoying herself with no pressure on me. Also a real sense of expectation, waiting for her to get back home
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Well whatever floats your boat. My submarine works in the opposite direction.
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With you there, this story gives me anxiety
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Absolutely not for everyone, I totally agree. No I wasnāt there. It isnāt like a kink or anything. But we did get it together seriously when she got home.
I think it is a bit like a sexual experience but without pressure on me.
She was understandably tired and sleepy the next day and not necessarily looking for an orgasm with me. So the pressure was right off
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Yes Iām really not suggesting it as relationship advice. Iām just sharing my situation and pleased to say we were able to have some fun moments in what has been a bleak time sexually
How has it been with your sex life since this event took place? It sounds like you enjoyed it but in the long run has it been better?
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Yes. For us I would say a positive. Some harmless no pressure fun
She does stay in touch with a couple of exes. So not like strangers
Thatās excellent you two are capable of doing that and itās helped your sex life
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Iām not saying this is the answer. But it has given us some relief or at least a diversion
We are talking about doing it again/continuing the experience/experiment. If it doesnāt help, we can simply stop
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So has it helped with your erections?
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Interestingly, I felt a real urgency to have sex as soon as she got home. She was happy, relaxed and satisfied, but I couldnāt get enough of her
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Oh super interesting, I guess it shows how much pressure you put on yourself to make sure sheās satisfied. And once that pressure is gone, your sexuality emerges. How can you start thinking of sex as something both of you enjoy rather than something where you have a ton of pressure to perform?
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My wife is supportive and plays down any issues with my ED. She insists she is still satisfied with us together.
She enjoyed her time with her ex and is looking forward to seeing him or others occasionally in the future. But she sees it as additional to our lovemaking and not as a substitute or boost.
I guess I need to worry less
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Thatās awesome and congratulations to you both
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She will have the chance to stay with him again tomorrow night. Then he is finished working here for a while. Iām looking forward to her staying out again. Nervous but excited
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I hope it goes well for you!
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