My girlfriend has openly discussed things she use to do in the bedroom with her ex boyfriend. I am more conservative and like to keep my past experiences to myself. No right or wrong, we are just different in that regard.
Anyway, for ages this put a lot of pressure on me. It made me feel like I had to do certain things that she had done before even if it’s not something I enjoy. I also felt a massive amount of pressure to satisfy her as much as her ex did. This pressure certainly didn’t help my ED. Has anyone else had a similar experience?
Just to be clear, my GF is a very loving and supportive partner and she certainly never meant to make me feel bad. All the pressure and worry I was feeling came purely from myself, not from her.
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Hi there, thanks for your post it is really compelling. I think lots of men will resonate with worrying that they are being compared to an ex.
I wonder if you have been able to speak openly about this with your GF. Would saying everything you have put in this post to her feel scary?
My hope would be that it would relieve some pressure and make sure you are working together to have the best sex that suits your relationship (which is the most important one - that is why you are together).
It also springs to mind, are you sure your GF likes the things she used to do with her ex or could it be the case that she was doing them because he liked them and now assumes you do too? I think some open conversation could really help and I would love to hear how you get on.
If you want some more help and advice on how to have these kinds of conversations you should jump onto a Mojo Connect and hear how it has gone for some other Mojo guys.