If I’m bottoming, I spend my time thinking about that act happening, whether it’s now, or imminent, so much, in both an excited and anxious fashion, that sometimes I can’t get it up as I’m not “in the moment” sufficiently. I’m too busy going over what will soon happen, or assessing how whatever is happening is going, to be turned on enough to easily get hard. Any advice?
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I usually don’t get hard while I’m on bottom and it used to bother me but now I just enjoy the sensation of taking it. I do understand what you mean by thinking about it obsessively before it happens though. Once it’s on my mind it’s hard to stop.
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Oh shit me too! I actually don’t usually cum when I bottom. But I love the sensations.
Sometimes I feel bad because my boyfriend feels like he has to make me cum to please me. I mean I think what has been helping me is thinking about things that have gotten me hard in past.
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I wish I could cum while bottoming lol
For me, bottoming is like a totally different type of sexual pleasure. I enjoy it, but it doesn’t get me hard like topping does. I’d say try not to worry about getting hard at all while bottoming. As for getting into the moment and stopping the worrying, I’ve found that box breath really helps to relax and focus on enjoying it.
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I was with someone recently who described it as the ‘bottom switch’ where they didn’t get hard when they were bottoming - and also didn’t expect that of themselves because they didn’t ‘need’ to be hard to bottom ‘successfully’. I’ve found it a really helpful thought to take the pressure off when bottoming and just enjoy the sensations.
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As a top I can also get in my head during sex, especially if the bottom is particularly tight and I’m trying not to cum. I’m also pretty hung so I’m always trying to make sure I’m not hurting him and read his body language to see if I can use the entire 9” or if I need to dial it back, always a lot to think about!
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