I’ve been mostly bottom most of my life. Recently my partner has expressed an interest in my topping him. Once I got over the embarrassment of telling him I’m on the app, it’s been helpful to tell him the exercises I’m doing. We’ve done a few together and while I didn’t stay hard long enough to top him, I was way more relaxed and less judgmental of myself than in the past. I’m hopeful I can suppress the inner critic soon
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Amazing — I’ve had the same problems and haven’t tried with a partner yet. Excited to hear that you’re seeing progress so far! 
I am trying to be optistic - without being too graphic, last night he had me play with his ass while jerking off to break the pattern of me going soft anytime I was near his hole. It was pretty successful.
We all know tops to go soft, pull out, jerk a bit and go back in. They don’t seem bothered by it and they don’t let the “inner critic” ruin a good time. I try to keep that in mind that it happens to everyone so I shouldn’t view it as a disaster. Good luck with your progress too.