I’m 19 years of age and am struggling getting fully hard. I’ve recently had some massive changes in my life (as in breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years) and now am also struggling for friends so talking about this is hard but I don’t feel like I have someone I can be completely open to.
With my ex girlfriend within the past year I didn’t want to have sex as much as I was either too tired or wasn’t feeling it. I love eating girls out so if I didn’t want to have sex she would ask me to do that. I would say no but eventually would out of guilt. This has changed my perspective of doing this as it would be done when I didn’t really want to. I feel like this has changed my perspective on sex as a whole.
I smoke, vape, drink and sometimes use drugs. Which I know is bad but smoking and vaping have been habit since I was 14 and drinking (more recently since my breakup) and use of ketamine help me forget about everything. I don’t know if these will have an influence on me getting hard but I feel I just need to spill as I really don’t have anyone to talk to.
I hardly, if ever get morning wood and struggle to get fully hard when having sex. When I masturbate i do watch porn as it almost helps me.
To be honest I am disappointed in myself. I really don’t know who I am
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Hey bro sounds like you’re going through a lot right now. Big props to you for opening up and writing it out. K can be fun at parties but it’s not a good one to get hooked on. Id say be careful with it. But also I’m not a therapist. I dunno if you’re in the uk cause I think you can get one through the nhs if you speak to your gp or if you’re at uni they can normally provide. Other than that though it kinda sounds like you’ve lost a bit of direction. For me I’ve always needed a direction to be going to keep me happy. If you try picking one thing at first. Something you want to achieve and then work towards that. Meditation is a great one. Helps to get you relaxed so that your pelvic floor muscles relax and blood can get to your dick. I wish you best of luck with everything
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Thankyou bro, much appreciated
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Hey man, I went through a similar thing that you’re going through and struggled with drug addiction as well as porn addiction for many years. The one thing I can say that helped me get through it is to focus on the parts of sex that turn the body on naturally, such as touch and sounds. What I started doing is masturbating to just the audio in porn or even sexual ASMR to shift the need for something to turn you on like a porn video. Smoking and drinking in my opinion don’t really affect getting an erection too negatively , but I think that association with needing to see pornographic videos with super stimulating stuff causes you to see actual sex as not as stimulating. I have also tried taking L-arginine which boosts your libido. I don’t have all the answers as I’m still struggling with it too, but maybe some of this can help you.
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