Look After Yourself, My story

Hey Gents,
Reading through the posts in this community has made me feel comfortable to share my story. It might be long as I feel it’s gonna pour out. I hope you stick with it and get to the end and hope it helps some of you out there the same as other posts have helped me.

I selected success stories as the category but I really could have selected every category. My story is not just about one thing but a culmination of a few things have faced in life.

To start with I have never been great at sharing my thoughts and feelings. I have always found it hard to open up, unless I feel really comfortable with the person which takes a while. I am more often the person who is the one helping others, listening to them wanting to help them etc. I have been like this as long as I can remember always putting others before me.

I have never had a strong close group of mates or a “best friend” if you will so I guess I have always just relied on my self and talked to myself “in my head”.

I have been in a great relationship with my partner for over twenty years and we are happy. We have had our ups and downs as most relationships would have. During this time we had a really bad accident that left us with emotional scars and my partner lifelong and altering injuries which affected all aspects of their life and our together. Including time together sexually due to movement challenges.

About a year and a half ago approaching my mid forties after trying to forge on, keep up and live/create the perfect life that we often feel we need in order to fit in. I finally realized I needed to seek help and begin to look after myself. I wasn’t happy, I was highly stressed, trying to keep up with what the world/society places on us as the ideal. I became short fused and angry. Others around me had noticed but I hadn’t. I had been getting some physical symptoms to- dizzy, short of breath, bad sleep, restless and my libido dropped to almost nothing. If I tried to have sex with my partner my mind and I could not get into it and my mind would be elsewhere a lot. I started realizing in needed help and to make changes but didn’t know where to start, didn’t want to burden my partner with my stuff as they had their own things they were working through and I was trying my best to help them too. I didn’t want to make it worse. I developed low libido, ED, PE (when I did get things going) and was not present during sex. (Inner critic was there all the time) I wasn’t eating healthy and was drinking far too much coffee.

Looking back now I was using porn and visual stimulation with masturbation as a means to just feel good and better. A stress reliever. It was fast, a means to and end and I definitely had the death grip going on.

I finally got real with myself and admitted to myself I needed to get help and was not invincible the way I was trying to tell myself I should be. I made an appointment with a GP for the first time in years. Wrote down everything I needed to tell them on a list so I could get through it - that’s where it started. This alone was a weight lifted.

I had some tests done to rule out issues with heart etc and with them coming back in the clear I was diagnosed with anxiety and some depression. I started on an SSRI I help me manage moods and process things a little better.

This allowed the space to work on everything else. I started to see a psychologist to talk through all my feelings and problems.
Began to make time to start some exercise. Tried running but have now bought myself a rower to get started as I’m not ready to put myself out there in the gym in public.

For about a year and a half I did some deep soul searching to really look at what I wanted, what was making me happy, sad, fulfilled. It was really eye opening(call it my mid life crisis if you will). For the first time in my life I started to look at what I needed to do to make me happy, fulfilled and a whole person. Not the lifeless person just going through the motions that is the modern day machine.
I cut back on the amount of TV/news I was watching. Limited my time on “social media” (or anti social it seems to be becoming) as I found that was making me feel inadequate in my life for not having the perfect body, career, home and life in general. Plus the echo chamber of negativity in the world atm.
I also took a big leap and left my high pressure management job that I had poured most of my working career into. I was no longer making me happy or fulfilled it was actually making me unhappy, my pride was keeping me there. I could still work a job to provide and contribute with out all the extra stress etc that was making me unhappy.

12 months later I have tapered off the SSRI and feel so much better. More calm, relaxed and alot more opportunistic about life. Still working on it- haven’t found my Nirvana yet but working on it.

I found an app for lazy Yoga which I do every morning that is helping with my flexibility, balance, strength and mindfulness. I actually wake up looking forward to it.

I found Mojo about a month ago as I still had some ED, PE, low libido and sometimes delayed ejeculation lingering after coming off SSRI( Ed, delayed climax were side affects). I am Loving Mojo. I have been able to work through the programs and start to implement these in to my life. I have had some great sex with my partner as well as some sessions that didn’t go aswell. I am more present, feeling so many more sensations, lasting longer and sometimes as hard as I was in my teens.
If things don’t go aswell I am no longer as worried or stressed about it. Just makes me want to try again for next time. I think telling my partner I was using mojo has helped too as me asking them to touch me in different places etc didn’t come out of the blue in the moment.

If you are still reading at this point - I hope my story might help you in someway or another or it resonates with you, makes you feel less alone or more confident it’s not just you.

I don’t even know if what I have written even makes sense. If anyone has questions ask away. I’m happy to answer.
Anyway Thanks to Mojo for helping me on the way to getting my Mojo back but an even bigger thanks to all the other men out there on the forum sharing your stories, being supportive, kind and non judgmental. You have all helped me a lot. I hope my story helps someone else.
Thanks Fellas. We have got this!

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Thanks for sharing your open and honest story and I’m sure that your post will greatly benefit all who read it. Good luck on your journey through life. :pray: Nameste.

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It’s great to hear about all of the insights you’ve discovered along the way and the multiple things that have an impact on sex. Also, I appreciate your attitude that if this time didn’t go well, there’s always next time!
Best of luck for things continuing to get better!

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Great to hear that you’re getting yourself sorted. :muscle:

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Thank you for sharing your story. I really appreciated your openness and honesty. Some of your story resonated with me. What your doing to get over these issues have helped me. I’m new to Mojo and trying to get into a daily routine of using the app.

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Glad you’re doing better!

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Thank You all for your replies and encouragement.
It’s nice to hear that it has helped some of you. Feels great to know it’s helped others and myself.

Wish you the best on your own individual paths. You’ve got it!! :muscle:
Enjoy the daily exercises fellas.

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