Background: 53 year old, 5 months post finding out wife had had multiple infidelities including the last being a 2 year affair with my best friend 
spent 4 months trying to figure out what went wrong and has, bizarrely, some of the most energetic sex of our almost 39 year marriage.
Due to religious previous religious beliefs we both had lots of sexual shame and hang ups. Lead to issues with me maintaining an erection and cumming in her (Id almost always have to finish myself off). She almost never touched me and shunned intimacy, kissing, eye contact which I LOVE.
In the past few months I’ve been intimate with 2 other women but couldnt get an erection despite taking viagra -not surprising considering the head space I was in (I know probably not the best coping mechanism but it’s complicated).
Recently I met another woman who is very much in tune with me around intimacy and where things are at for me. We slept together last night and I managed to have 4 separate sessions of sex and I kept it up almost throughout!
Breath work, mediation and just relaxing and having an enthusiastic and understanding partner made the world of difference. Looking forward to more sex, connection and learning - mojo has really helped!
Nice work man!!!
I’m recently out of a 23 yr marriage and having the best sex of my life with a completely understanding lady. I’ve had more sex in the last 6 months than I’ve had in 16 years! I do struggle with erection issues, but my partner is the best. She completely understands and loves my oral and fingers game…
Congrats man!!!
This is great news!!
Thx for sharing-
Reminds me a bit of my situation- still in marriage though. It feels like we spend a lot of time as blokes self-blaming for ED issues while our partners often have behaviours that are contributing to the situation and we’re too close or just put up with things like emotional abuse, neglect, gaslighting etc for years without complaint
Thanks man, hope things are ok for you now?
After listening to noore Mr nice guy on Spotify (free) I realized I’ve got huge amounts of sexual shame, people pleasing etc which also matched up in all the wrong ways with issues my wife had about sex. Great book that I’m now working to implement. Also figured out my wife and I have opposite attachment styles - I’m anxious and she’s avoidant -which weirdly often link up but make super tough relationships. Seems like that’s all over now but good info to take with me I to the future.
Mate you’ve struck gold! Interesting that my new partners seems to be a giver (which I have been too) so it’s ‘weird’ for me to have her want to touch, suck or fuck me. Slowly learning to just relax and go with the sensations but it’s very easy to slip back into my head and that’s when issues arise, or deflate to be more accurate.
Thanks for posting this. I’m 30 years old and in my first real relationship, I was a very late bloomer, and used to cick myself so hard, and feeling like I missed out on what could have been the best sex of my life. My relationship is pretty great except for the dead bedroom, and it has caused a lot of friction lately. It only recently came out that my gf doesn’t have good connotations with sex, and with her past just doesn’t enjoy it, even though she says she always orgasmed with me (through foreplay, maybe once from penetration). It’s rough, but at least I know it’s not that I can’t satisfy her, just that she has some negative ideas about sex in general. I’m committed to trying and working through this with her and building a great sex life with her. But your posts give me hope, because even though I feel late in life, you guys are reassuring me I can still find a great sexual partner, either with my current gf, or with someone new if I have to move on.
Hey really appreciate the reply man! I’ll definitely check out the resources you suggested. Our situation issimilar in terms of different communication styles which leads to completely dysfunctional communication and plays out in the bedroom as I feel all these unresolved issues and her anger lead to anxiety on my part. We’re headed currently I think for disaster so I’ll check out your suggestions, we need all the help we can get!
Elegant lime: thanks man!!
it’s tough not to get back in your head—— I also find that breathing exercises distract me from feeling the pleasure she’s giving me. -Contrary to most advice..
I do sometimes make sure I’m taking full breaths and exhale slower than I inhale. Apparently that helps get away from fight or flight - and doesn’t distract me as much as box breathing…
I’m a very visual guy so my relationship with porn is double edged… when I’m with her, I focus on something we’re doing, something sexy like a part of her body or just plain ‘I’ve got this nekkid hottie laying in front of me and ALL she wants to do right now is please me…