Background: 53 year old, 5 months post finding out wife had had multiple infidelities including the last being a 2 year affair with my best friend 
spent 4 months trying to figure out what went wrong and has, bizarrely, some of the most energetic sex of our almost 39 year marriage.
Due to religious previous religious beliefs we both had lots of sexual shame and hang ups. Lead to issues with me maintaining an erection and cumming in her (Id almost always have to finish myself off). She almost never touched me and shunned intimacy, kissing, eye contact which I LOVE.
In the past few months Iāve been intimate with 2 other women but couldnt get an erection despite taking viagra -not surprising considering the head space I was in (I know probably not the best coping mechanism but itās complicated).
Recently I met another woman who is very much in tune with me around intimacy and where things are at for me. We slept together last night and I managed to have 4 separate sessions of sex and I kept it up almost throughout!
Breath work, mediation and just relaxing and having an enthusiastic and understanding partner made the world of difference. Looking forward to more sex, connection and learning - mojo has really helped!
Nice work man!!!
Iām recently out of a 23 yr marriage and having the best sex of my life with a completely understanding lady. Iāve had more sex in the last 6 months than Iāve had in 16 years! I do struggle with erection issues, but my partner is the best. She completely understands and loves my oral and fingers gameā¦
Congrats man!!!
This is great news!!
Thx for sharing-
Reminds me a bit of my situation- still in marriage though. It feels like we spend a lot of time as blokes self-blaming for ED issues while our partners often have behaviours that are contributing to the situation and weāre too close or just put up with things like emotional abuse, neglect, gaslighting etc for years without complaint
Thanks man, hope things are ok for you now?
After listening to noore Mr nice guy on Spotify (free) I realized Iāve got huge amounts of sexual shame, people pleasing etc which also matched up in all the wrong ways with issues my wife had about sex. Great book that Iām now working to implement. Also figured out my wife and I have opposite attachment styles - Iām anxious and sheās avoidant -which weirdly often link up but make super tough relationships. Seems like thatās all over now but good info to take with me I to the future.
Mate youāve struck gold! Interesting that my new partners seems to be a giver (which I have been too) so itās āweirdā for me to have her want to touch, suck or fuck me. Slowly learning to just relax and go with the sensations but itās very easy to slip back into my head and thatās when issues arise, or deflate to be more accurate.
Thanks for posting this. Iām 30 years old and in my first real relationship, I was a very late bloomer, and used to cick myself so hard, and feeling like I missed out on what could have been the best sex of my life. My relationship is pretty great except for the dead bedroom, and it has caused a lot of friction lately. It only recently came out that my gf doesnāt have good connotations with sex, and with her past just doesnāt enjoy it, even though she says she always orgasmed with me (through foreplay, maybe once from penetration). Itās rough, but at least I know itās not that I canāt satisfy her, just that she has some negative ideas about sex in general. Iām committed to trying and working through this with her and building a great sex life with her. But your posts give me hope, because even though I feel late in life, you guys are reassuring me I can still find a great sexual partner, either with my current gf, or with someone new if I have to move on.
Hey really appreciate the reply man! Iāll definitely check out the resources you suggested. Our situation issimilar in terms of different communication styles which leads to completely dysfunctional communication and plays out in the bedroom as I feel all these unresolved issues and her anger lead to anxiety on my part. Weāre headed currently I think for disaster so Iāll check out your suggestions, we need all the help we can get!
Elegant lime: thanks man!!
itās tough not to get back in your headāā I also find that breathing exercises distract me from feeling the pleasure sheās giving me. -Contrary to most advice..
I do sometimes make sure Iām taking full breaths and exhale slower than I inhale. Apparently that helps get away from fight or flight - and doesnāt distract me as much as box breathingā¦
Iām a very visual guy so my relationship with porn is double edgedā¦ when Iām with her, I focus on something weāre doing, something sexy like a part of her body or just plain āIāve got this nekkid hottie laying in front of me and ALL she wants to do right now is please meā¦