I’m in a new relationship and things have been going great in every place except the bedroom. She seems supportive, but I find myself losing my erection about halfway through. I’m fairly new to the course so I’ve tried to be listening for my “inner critic” while having sex and I can’t say I’ve heard it yet. Things will be going well for and I’ll start building toward climax. I don’t know if I’m getting anxious like “yes, it’s finally going to happen,” but I’m stuck in a rut where I begin to lose my erection soon after this starts to happen.
I’m new to the course and need to put in the work, so I am optimistic. I just hope there’s something in there that can help with this, because it’s really doing a number on my self esteem.
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I totally understand the hit to the self-esteem. I’m right there with you on that issue.
My issue is a bit different though, I get hard during foreplay but tend to lose my erection when we switch from foreplay to trying to take my clothing off. I’m aware of what some of the related issues. One is that I’m spectatoring, that’s the big one. But others are rushing, I try to move from foreplay to sex before my erection has fully taken hold; another is related to a similar issue to condom usage, I get pulled out of the moment of intimacy to try to get my clothing off. Other issues are that I don’t read myself very well, I don’t recognise when I’m not really up for sex, too tired, too stressed etc. I just expect myself to be ready to go…
I had this happen to me yesterday, which was incredibly frustrating, and a bit depressing, because the time prior where we tried to have sex I achieved it multiple times on the same day. So the expectation I had for myself was not realistic.
My point is that there is a lot of content that is covered in this course. I’ve been using it for a little bit now and it has started to work in a few different ways. I now recognise what the problems are so I can deal with them, I have been able to learn to communicate with my partner what the problems are so I am no longer trying to do this alone, I have been given some tools to deal with the problems, and I have been able to communicate with others going through the same thing.
For your issue specifically, yes I believe there are several strategies, and educational topics, that have got you covered.
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